


Kaleidoscope

by colour_outside_the_lines



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Clexa, Clexa HSAU, Diligent Student Lexa, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, HSAU, High School, Humor, Lots and lots of Pining, Mutual Pining, Romance, Slow Burn, Wingwoman Octavia, Wingwoman Raven, Wingwomen Raven and Octavia, slacker Clarke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2018-09-10 15:33:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8922667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colour_outside_the_lines/pseuds/colour_outside_the_lines
Summary: Clarke has never liked feeling dependent on anyone, yet here she is driving to Lexa Woods’ house crying her eyes out while sobs wracked their way through her body. 
She’d never admit to anyone else that she might actually need Alexandria Woods, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t true. 
OR:
The one where Clarke and Lexa finally see each other in a new light and can't but fall head over heels in love.





	1. The End

The last week of summer vacation seemed to have come around faster than it ever had before, it had happened almost too fast, and if that hadn't been bad enough, it seemed like it was ending just as quickly; bringing with it the dread and anxiety that came with a new school year. For some this would be a year filled with wonder, excitement, and a world of possibilities as they found themselves moving onto a new chapter of their lives, while for others, it was only bringing forward the crippling realisation that they were one step closer to graduation, and inevitably, one step closer to adulthood. 

With just one weekend left of their summer break, Aden and Alexandria Woods found themselves on either end of this spectrum; Aden was alive and buzzing with a mixture of nerves and excitement as he counted down the hours that were left until his first day at Arkadia High School. His elder sister, however, was suddenly filled with apprehension as she thought about how this was going to be the most important year of her education thus far. She couldn’t keep herself from thinking about how everything that she had been working for over the last four years ultimately came down to this one, her senior year, and all of a sudden, Lexa felt like everything was make or break for her.

Outside the air held some of the distinct smells of the summer time, it smelled of the warm air, tangled together with the faintest smell of freshly cut grass and the rain from the summer showers they they’d been having most of the day- though the rain had been a welcomed break for everyone; the last two weeks or so had been unbearably hot- when the rain had finally struck, Lexa and Aden had found any excuse that they could to be out in it that afternoon.

But while the outside world was filled with life as everyone tried to soak up the last few days of summer, making the most of the time they had left, Lexa had found herself sitting at home with Aden, and she was now in the middle of what she could only describe as the worlds lamest fashion show.

“Okay, okay. So this is the last one, I promise.” Aden said as he walked into the living room.

“Aid, you said that about the last three,” Lexa replied, never once taking her eyes off of the TV screen.

“Yeah, well I really do mean it this time.” He sighed, “So what, do you think?” he asked as he showed off yet another one of his outfit options for his first day of high school.

Lexa sighed and rolled her eyes. She loved her brother a ridiculous amount, but there were some things that she just wasn’t equipped to handle, and this was definitely one of them. “I won’t lie to you; I don’t think anything of it, because honestly, I just don’t care.” She admitted.

“Look, I just really wanna make a good first impression, Lex, y’know like you did.” He admitted, “I really don’t wanna get swirlied, or have my ass kicked.”

“Okay, listen, you’re not gonna get swirlied… I mean who does that?”

“Well. That’s what Michael Reed’s brother told him happens to all the 'lame freshmen.'” Aden said using air quotations. 

“Well it doesn’t,” Lexa sighed, “And even if stuff like that did happen, I definitely wouldn’t let it happen to you… and you’re not gonna get your ass kicked either.”

“Do you promise me?” He asked; Lexa could see how much worry hid in his blue eyes, the ones that were so much like their mother’s that it was almost unreal. Lexa nodded her head slowly and gave him a soft smile.

“Yes. I promise you,” she replied, “If anyone so much as even tries to do any of those things to you, you just come and tell me straight away, okay? Because I know some guys that’ll crack skulls if anyone touches you.”

“You do?”

Lexa nodded her head, “Hell yeah, you think for a second Lincoln is gonna let anything happen to you? He’s too scared of me,” she smiled, “So I need you to  promise me something now, if anyone threatens you, or whatever, you’ll tell me?”

He smiled slightly and nodded his head, “Yeah okay… I’ll let you know.” he replied, there was a beat of silence before he looked back at her once more, “So you think that if I wear this I’m gonna be okay?” he asked, once again making his sister roll her eyes.

“Yes.” she chuckled, “Jesus, Aden, you’re worse than half of the girls that I know.” she joked, “Keep acting like this and I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“Lexa, there is nothing wrong with taking pride in your appearance, besides, mom always says that it’s the first impression that matters the most in life.”

“Yeah, I know.” Lexa replied nodding her head slowly.

 

* * *

 

She couldn’t believe how this night had gone, how she had rushed over to see him, knowing that he was finally home from visiting his brother at his college campus. He’d asked her to go over and of course, she had jumped at the chance to see him again. She had driven as fast as she possibly could, breaking multiple laws, and almost injuring countless pedestrians on her way over, and all for this.

“Clarke, would you please just calm down for a second?” he begged, ducking as fast as he could to dodge one of the many items that Clarke had thrown at him that night.

“Excuse me?” she asked incredulously, “You did not just tell me to calm down after the bombshell that you just dropped on me,” she yelled, “I am going to be anything but calm right now!”

“Can we at least just talk about this, please?” he asked, she picked up another one of his pillows and launched it at his head, this time it hit him square in the face.

“You want us to talk about this? What is there even to say to you, Finn?” she asked, this time throwing a book his way, narrowly missing and hitting the door with a loud bang. “That there are no hard feelings? Let’s still be best fucking friends? God you are such an asshole!”

“I’d at least like us to try and talk about this,” he explained, “I’d like to be able to put this right.”

“You cheated on me!” she snapped, “You went to visit your brother in Cape Cod and you cheated on me while you were out there, and you expect me to be okay with this and still wanna be friends with you?”

“I said that I was sorry!” he yelled, “I mean that, Clarke. I honestly do… and I want us to try and work around this; it was just a mistake, I love you, come on baby please don’t be like this.”

“Oh. Okay. You said sorry… you know what, suddenly, none of this hurts anymore.” She replied sarcastically, “You are nothing but a rat.” She sighed and shook her head, “You know, everyone warned me about you, but I just didn’t listen to them.”

Clarke hated that her summer was ending this way, what had started out as one of the best summers of her life, had suddenly turned into one of the worst. She couldn’t believe just how drastically things had changed in such a short space of time. The first few weeks had been spent at the beach with her friends, they’d been drinking, had gotten high some nights thanks to Murphy and Jasper hooking them up. They’d all gone on countless long drives, with no real destination in mind.

They’d wound up getting themselves lost more than once, which has pissed off certain people in the group more than others. But Clarke had always shrugged and told them; ‘it’s an adventure.’

And now here she was, feeling humiliated and heart broken, on a night that she was sure was going to be an amazing one. All because of the boy she loved.

He sighed and walked towards her, “Baby listen,” he said softly, reaching out to take a hold of her hips, as soon as he made contact with her she pushed him backwards.

“No. Don’t you dare touch me, and don’t you dare call me baby ever again, you just lost all rights to do things like that. You lost them the second that you slept with some other girl behind my back.”

“Come on, please just sit down and talk to me about this. I want to make a go of this, please. I know that I’ve made a lot of mistakes these past couple of years, but I’m at least willing to try… I love you.”

Clarke shook her head slowly, “I’m sorry but you’ve run out of second chances, Finn… I am so sick of forgiving you for the shit that you’ve done… because this time you have gone way too far.” She took a deep breath and tried to stop the tears from spilling over her eyes. “I have loved you for two years, almost three… and I wouldn’t dream of hurting you.” she shrugged, “But you have hurt me a lot of times.” She shook her head, “I’m done Finn.”

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed in exasperation, “It was just a drunken mistake. God it didn’t even mean anything. The only reason I told you is because I thought it’d be better to be honest... I knew that you'd find out sooner or later and I thought it'd be better coming from me.”

“Well you know what, I am glad you did tell me. Because now I know once and for all just what you are. Raven and Octavia told me time and time again not to take you back because you’d just keep taking advantage of me and of the situation and that you’d just keep hurting me, but I didn’t listen. I trusted you and I took you back because of how much I love you. Yet here I stand, feeling like the worlds stupidest person.”

Clarke could feel a lump rising in her throat, she felt more nauseous every second that she stood with Finn, she had never known that anything could feel so humiliating. She’d never wanted things to end like this. Hell, she didn’t want this relationship to end at all; she had always seen Finn as her forever and she had always thought that she was his, too.

But here he was, breaking her heart one more time; and all she could do was sit and let it happen; because what’s done cannot be undone, and there was no way she was going to let herself be swept back up into the world of Finn Collins, no matter how much she loved him.

Finn took a step forwards and placed a hand on either side of Clarke’s face, he kissed her with everything he had in him, hoping that Clarke would change her mind and  forgive him and take him back. Clarke pushed him away from her and glared at him, “Can’t we at least try and make this work?” he asked one last time, his voice raising the more annoyed that he got.

“Fuck you Finn.” There was no real animosity to her voice, which annoyed Clarke no end. She wanted to hate him, more than anything in this world she wanted to hate Finn Collins, but she couldn’t.

Clarke just didn’t know how to hate him, all that she knew was how to love him, because she had loved this boy for two years now and she had been sure that he loved her too. She had never once been able to picture her life without him in it, and she had never wanted to either.

“Clarke please, I am literally begging you.”

She shook her head slowly, “Goodbye Finn.”

She rushed out of the Collins household and all but ran to her car. She started the engine and drove down the street, pushing her foot hard on the pedal to build speed. She willed herself not to look back at the large white house, as she reached the end of Finn’s street. She turned left and began to drive recklessly fast as the tears started to freefall down her face.

There were so many thoughts rushing around her head that she didn’t know which one to focus on first. There were so many things she wanted to do, number one; she wanted to forget all about Finn Collins and everything he had ever done wrong to her, number two; she wanted to go all the way to Cape Cod just to hit that other girl, just so she could feel a fraction of the pain that Clarke was, and number three; she wanted to find someone she could talk to.

Though number three felt more like a need than a want, she had multiple names flying through her mind for who she could talk to, of course, the one person she would usually talk to when she was feeling down, was the same person who had caused her to feel so low.

She had multiple people she could go to, and she knew that, it was just trying to decide who was the right person to go to. She couldn’t go to Murphy or Jasper, they wouldn’t understand and would just offer her pot or alcohol.

Bellamy and Monty wouldn’t be much better, they’re boys, and Clarke could tell that when it came to something like this they would just be clueless.

Octavia and Raven would just keep reminding her that they told her so, and that they had warned her time after time not to take him back. And Lincoln would just side with Octavia.

Anya was a straight up no go, she may be in their friendship group, but that was only by default, they very rarely got along with each other. Plus, Anya just wasn't a sensitive person. 

Which really, only left her with one option, Lexa.

Clarke had never liked feeling dependent on anyone, yet here she was driving to Lexa Woods’ house crying her eyes out while sobs wracked their way through her body.

But the way that Clarke saw it was that she didn’t really have a choice right now. Because whether she liked it or not, she did need someone, she needed someone to comfort her, someone to make her feel like she wasn’t completely worthless and she just knew that Lexa was the person who could do that.

She’d never admit to anyone else that she might actually need Alexandria Woods, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t true.

The drive to Lexa’s didn’t take as long as it usually would; of course, her reckless driving had more to do with that than anything else. She pulled up and looked out of her window at the house.

She had never actually considered Lexa to be a close friend; sure they spoke to each other pretty much daily while they were at school or when they were within their friendship group, but she had never once spoken to Lexa one on one; they’d never once been left alone together.

She and Lexa were worlds apart, really; Lexa was a model student, with straight A’s and a pretty much perfect GPA, when school was in session, Lexa would put in countless hours making sure her work was done, and she would really only spend time with their group of friends when she was sure she had finished her assignments.

While Clarke couldn’t have been more different, she was something of a slacker when it came to school, doing the absolute bare minimum and still somehow managing to pass her classes with above average grades. The way that Clarke saw it was that they were all young, and realistically, this was probably as easy as it was ever going to get for them, she’d much rather spend her time having fun with her friends, than worrying and locking herself away in some stuffy school building trying to get her work done.

Lexa was the quiet one in their group, second only to John Murphy, she was studious, and seemed to spend most of her time taking in her surroundings over anything else, she knew that Lexa would be the right person to go to when she just needed someone to listen and actually give her some kind of intellectual, sound advice.

Clarke took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down as she walked up the yard to Lexa’s house; she knocked on the door and felt tears welling up in her eyes once again.

When the door opened, she was shocked to see Aden standing on the other side of it, “Oh. Uh… hey Aden, is Lexa here?” she asked.

“Yeah. She is.” He nodded his head slowly, “Lexa, Clarke is here!” Aden called, he quirked his eyebrow slightly at the blonde girl before stepping away from the door.

Lexa walked into the living room, eyeing Clarke suspiciously until she got closer to her. Her expression visibly softened, and her head tilted to the side. “Hey. Is everything all right?” Lexa asked. She could see that Clarke had been crying; her blotchy skin and red eyes had given that one away to her almost instantly.

Clarke nodded her head slowly, before taking a deep breath and shaking her head, “No.” she admitted, “No. I am anything but okay right now.”

“Okay, well come inside.” Lexa said, moving out of the way to let Clarke into their house. Lexa closed the door with a gentle click and locked it again. “Okay, what’s wrong?” she asked.

Clarke opened her mouth to say something, before she looked at Aden who sat in the living room, watching TV with his back to them. She sighed and looked back to Lexa, “Can we talk about this somewhere else?”

“Yeah. Sure… follow me.” Lexa lead the way to her room, she could hear Clarke’s shallow shaky breaths and she knew that whatever was bothering this girl it must have been bad. She closed the door to her room behind them and turned to face Clarke, “Okay… what’s wrong?”

“It’s Finn,” she said meekly, “God it’s always Finn with me isn’t it?” she asked, “He is just such an asshole.”

“Why? What happened this time?” Lexa asked, she knew that Finn was problematic, she was pretty sure that everyone knew this. Clarke and Finn never seemed to be not arguing, he always seemed to have done something to screw up.

“I’ll give you three guess,” Clarke replied dryly. Whatever it was, Lexa knew that this time it was a biggie, usually whenever they had an argument they would fix it soon enough, Clarke had never gone to Lexa over relationship advice before, she knew that this time it was something drastic.

“Okay… well has he been sexting that girl again?”

“Strike one.”

“Did he forget your anniversary?”

“Strike two.”

“Wait, did he break up with you?” Lexa asked, her voice taking on a much softer tone that it had before. Clarke shook her head slowly, and fought against the tears trying their hardest to spill out over her eyes.

“And you’re out.” Clarke sighed.

“So what happened then? Why have you been crying?”

“Okay, so you know that he was in Cape Cod all last week, right?” she asked; Lexa nodded her head slowly. “Well, he came back this morning and after sleeping for a little while he calls me up and asks me to go over and obviously I go over there as fast as possible, I was pretty excited to see him again, but when I got there he told me that he’d cheated on me.”

“What did you do?” Lexa asked.

“Obviously I totally lost it and I just started yelling and throwing things, I have major rage issues, everyone knows this, but I got pretty aggressive and I’ve never once hurt him, I’ve never wanted to, but tonight I just couldn’t help it.” she sighed, “But then he asks me to calm down and tells me that he still loves me and that he wants me back and that it was just a mistake and that we can fix it and how if I forgive him everything will be fine.”

“Did you forgive him?”

Clarke shook her head and started to cry again, “No. Not this time, I just couldn’t.” she explained, “Actually sleeping with someone else is something that I just can’t forgive it’s way too much, all the other times I could kind of look past what he did, I mean, it still hurt me and it was humiliating, but it was nothing compared to this.”

“Well, you lasted way longer with him than I ever would have.” Lexa admitted. “Honestly, I really don’t know how you did it, but-“

Clarke held her hand up stopping the taller girl before she could even finish her sentence, “Look, if you’re just gonna give me a lecture about all of this then can it wait?” she shook her head slowly, “God I am such an idiot.”

“I wasn’t going to lecture you,” Lexa admitted, “And I don’t think that you’re an idiot.”

“Yeah well, I am.” Clarke said quietly.

Lexa shook her head slowly, “No… I honestly think that you were a girl who was so in love with this boy that it just sort of blinded you a little bit.” She shrugged, “Love makes you do some crazy things… but that doesn’t make you an idiot… all it means it that you’ll forgive people if you think that they’re worth it and deserve it and honestly, I think that makes you pretty damn amazing.”

Clarke’s lips curled up slightly, but the smile didn’t quite meet her eyes. It was the first time Lexa had ever paid her anything remotely like a complement.

An awkward silence fell between them. Neither one knowing what to say next. Clarke took the time in the silence to look down at her chipped nail polish, while Lexa fiddled with the chain around her neck.

It was Lexa who broke the silence first before saying, “Listen, this is just a suggestion, and feel free to shoot it down, but how about you stay here for the night, we order take out and watch some shitty movie and you just cry it all out and I give you advice if I can?”

Clarke nodded her head slowly, “Yeah… I’d like that.” She replied. “Lexa, thanks for this.” she sighed, “I appreciate it, everyone else would just have lectured me tonight about how they told me so, that’s not what I need.”

Lexa nodded her head slowly, “I know… and that’s why I haven’t done that.” she admitted, “no body needs to be lectured when they’re feeling down.” she shrugged her shoulders half-heartedly, "That and I never actually told you anything." she said trying to lighten the mood, she saw Clarke's lip twitch in an upward motion, before they fell back to a flat line. 

As Lexa stood to leave the room, she took once last look over her shoulder, and she could see how truly broken Clarke was in that moment.

 

* * *

 

“Okay, so I don’t know if these are gonna fit you or not, but it’s better than nothing, right?” Lexa asked as she threw a spare pair of pyjamas towards Clarke.

Clare nodded her head slowly and gave Lexa the best smile that she could muster. “Er, yeah, thanks.” She replied.

“Yeah. Don’t mention it,” Lexa sighed and said, “I’ll just go get changed and then when I’m back I’ll find that shitty movie that I promised you, okay?” she asked. Clarke nodded her head mechanically. “Okay.” Lexa said once more before leaving the room.

She sat down on the edge of the tub and took a deep breath, trying to work out her own thoughts on the situation.

She couldn’t help but feel sorry for Clarke; she knew how much she had cared for Finn they had all known just how much he had meant to her. Anyone could see that, she was absolutely infatuated with him; she had been since they had first met.

She just hadn’t realised until now just how little it appeared that Clarke had meant to Finn. She knew he’d done things in the past that had hurt her. He definitely hadn’t been the best boyfriend in the world, but still she had never thought that she’d see the day that Clarke would actually leave him. She thought there was nothing on this earth that could have pulled Clarke and Finn apart.

She quickly washed her face, removing all of her make-up, and she tied up her hair putting it into a messy bun on the top of her head. She changed into her pyjamas before walking back in the direction of her bedroom.

She knocked on the door once, “Hey, Clarke, am I okay to come back in yet?” she asked.

“Yeah. Sure.” Clarke replied dryly, Lexa pushed the door open slowly and peeked her head around it.

“You doing okay?” she asked.

Clarke shook her head, “No… it hurts so much.”

Lexa sighed, she’d admit it she had no idea what to do in this situation, it wasn’t often that any of the other’s really turned to her for relationship advice, they’d ask her for help with school work, or things that took strategy, but never relationships, so she did the only thing she could think to do.

She sat down beside Clarke, and wrapped an arm around her waste, she’d expected a lot of reactions from the other girl, but she had never anticipated that she would reciprocate the hug, laying her head on Lexa shoulder, and allowing the dark haired girl to pull her closer. She could feel Clarke's body shuddering slightly, as sobs took over her once more. 

 

* * *

 

The air around them was still, all that could be hear was the gentle ticking of Lexa’s watch from where it sat on her bedside table, Clarke tried to tune it out, she couldn’t fully understand why, but the sound of a clock or watch ticking always felt daunting to her. They’d long since turned the TV off and decided to settle down for the night, all the crying had made Clarke grow tired and had given her a major head ache.

She opened her eyes slowly, and could only just make out Lexa’s face, her eyes closed, and her lips parted slightly.

“Why are you staring at me?” she asked in a quiet murmur.

Lexa’s voice startled Clarke slightly, she certainly hadn’t been expected Lexa to still be awake, “I don’t know.” Clarke admitted, “I just can’t sleep.”

“Do you wanna stay up and talk about it?” she asked, “I really don’t mind if you do.” she replied, her voice already calming Clarke a considerable amount.

Clarke shook her head slowly before replying, “Not really.” She admitted, “I just sort of want to forget, but I don’t think that I can.”

Lexa fumbled around in the bed momentarily, before finding Clarke’s hand and lacing their fingers together, she gave her hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze, “Well if you change your mind I’m here for you.”

“Yeah. I know.” Clarke admitted, there was a brief silence, before Clarke spoke once more, “Hey, Lexa?” she whispered, Lexa hummed softly, just to let the blonde haired girl know that she was still awake and listening, “Thank you.” she mumbled.

“For what?” Lexa asked, keeping her voice as low as possible.

“Everything.”


	2. Get Up and Get Over It

When Clarke woke up next morning, she found herself in an unfamiliar room, the first thing that she noticed about her surroundings was the ceiling that she was looking up at; it was entirely different from her own. This one was covered in a thin layer of dingy, white paint that had started to chip in certain patches, creating a unique pattern all along it. A wave of panic began to wash over her in her dazed and confused state of mind. Everything about this room was completely foreign to her; the way that it looked, the way that it smelled; everything. It wasn’t an unpleasant place to be, not at all, it was just so unfamiliar.

She could hear soft breathing coming from the side of her, she knew that she'd been upset last night, and she knew that when she was sad she didn't always make the best decisions. She closed her eyes tight shut and rolled over slowly, dreading what- or whom- she may find lying beside her that morning. She opened her eyes and saw Lexa lying beside her; she let out a breath that she hadn't even realised that she was holding in. It was only when the air left her body that the events of the previous night came flooding back to her. 

She could remember how angry she had been with Finn, how she had resorted to throwing things at him after he had hurt her for what felt like the millionth time, she had never shown any aggression towards him; she'd never wanted to. And she never imagined that she'd want to. But last night she had been taken over by her feelings. She thought about how she had, had to end things with him, essentially breaking her own heart even more than he already had. 

She remembered driving to Lexa’s going way over the legal speed limit; she thanked her lucky stars that nobody had been hurt due to her reckless driving.

 _Well, at least I’m actually with someone that I know… sort of_. She thought to her herself.

She looked at the other girl, taking in every facet of her appearance. Lexa's face was smoothed out in her sleep, her dark, wild hair splayed out all over the pillow; it was by far the messiest that she had ever seen Lexa's hair look. It all felt so strange, seeing Lexa with such a neutral expression. Lexa was usually so harsh looking, her face always seemed to be in a permanent scowl, the only time that it wasn’t, was when her signature, and all too arrogant, smirk graced her face.

The same smirk that had driven Clarke mad since the first time Lexa had made a snide comment about something and she had seen it. What made Clarke hate that smirk even more was how pretty Lexa always looked when she did it. She found it arrogant, and all too endearing at the same time. And that infuriated Clarke more than anything.  

“It’s very rude to stare,” the sound of Lexa’s soft, sleepy voice pulled Clarke away from her musings; she looked at the dark haired girl, waiting for her to say something else.

When she didn’t Clarke took it up on herself to break the silence that filled the room, “Sorry, I was day dreaming a little,” she replied, “I didn’t know that you were awake.”

Lexa opened her eyes slowly, “Yes. I am awake.” She said with a soft smile, “How are you feeling?” she asked, her voice soft, quiet, as if making any loud noises may send Clarke running.

“I feel terrible,” she admitted, “What about you?”

Lexa shrugged her shoulders slightly, “I’m okay.” she sighed, “Do you wanna talk about why you feel terrible?”

Clarke shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know. I want to talk about it, and just get everything out, but it all just hurts too much right now. Everything feels so raw.” She shook her head and tried to keep herself from crying. “Everything hurts so much. I never thought that he could make me feel this way.”

“Honestly, I don’t think any of us did,” Lexa admitted, “I’m really sorry that all of this happened to you. You deserve so much better Clarke, he put you through hell for two years an-“

“Lexa.” Clarke said cutting her off, “I don’t need to hear it, especially not from you, not right now.” She said. “I thank you for trying but that isn’t what I need. I just need someone to talk to and to comfort me.” Lexa heard the crack in her voice, and watched as she brought a hand up to her face and quickly wiped both her eyes. “Is it okay if I use your shower?”

Lexa nodded her head slowly, guilt edging it’s way into her system, she hadn’t intended to make the other girl cry. “Y-yeah… you don’t have to ask though,” she replied, “You can just go use it… there should be some spare towels in the cupboard by the door.”

“Thanks.” She mumbled.

Lexa had never thought of Clarke as being a weak person, she was always so strong, vibrant and maybe even a little aggressive- but in a good way, in a forward, endearing way- but never weak, until now at least; she somehow looked smaller and thinner in her sad and fragile state.

Lexa couldn’t help but notice Clarke’s eyes that morning, they weren’t the vivid shade of blue she had become so used to seeing, and her eyes that were once so magnetic and alive, now just looked empty. They seemed to be a more stormy shade of blue after the hours she had spent crying last night. Clarke pushed herself from her bed slowly, her head throbbing; she gave Lexa a soft smile before heading towards the door.

She looked over her shoulder and opened her mouth to say something, before she could even get out her question Lexa said, “it’s the door just on the right from this room, like, it’s right next door.”

Clarke made her way to the bathroom and locked the door quickly, pressing her back against it and trying to get the ache in her heart to stop. She ran her hands over her face, pressing them over her mouth and letting out a low tight-lipped scream.

Clarke didn’t know which emotion felt stronger, her anger or her heartbreak, all she knew was that they were both tearing her apart just as much as they had the previous night.

She grabbed a towel from the cupboard near the door and turned the shower on, shedding the clothes that Lexa had given her the night before.

She listened as the water drummed against the base of the tub, before holding her hand out to test the water, it practically scalded her, but she didn’t care, she stepped into the shower.

She remembered how during the night, her sobs had woken Lexa, and how she had simply wrapped her arms around her and had pulled her closer, allowing her to cry on her shoulder, her tears soaking into Lexa’s hair.

She’d cried herself to sleep, all the while Lexa had held her, running her fingers up and down Clarke’s spine, trying to sooth the other girl. It hadn’t been much, but it had definitely been enough, every small, simplistic gesture that Lexa had made last night had been enough for Clarke.

She couldn’t believe how easy last night had been, Lexa hadn’t pressured her to talk, she’d simple let her cry and had offered her a hug and a shoulder to cry on, she didn’t know that’s what she had needed until it happened.

She was actually amazed by how much Lexa had done for her last night by doing so little. She showered quickly allowing the hot water to wash all of the tension out of her muscles.

She felt truly exhausted, both mentally and physically; she knew that how she was feeling was down to all the crying she had done. She used Lexa’s shampoo and shower gel; she picked one that smelled of flowers and pine. It was worlds away from how Finn had smelt. He always seemed to smell of mint and leather. Clarke had always liked it, but she wouldn't lie, she had noticed last night that Lexa had a nicer, softer scent. 

She shut off the water and closed her eyes before taking deep breaths and trying to push all thoughts of the boy from her mind. Trying to force herself to feel anything but love for him.

She soon found that it was no good, because she did love him, she loved him uncontrollably.

She made her way back to Lexa’s bedroom, her eyes wide when she saw the other girl sitting at the end of the bed, her dark hair looked wilder than Clarke had ever seen it before. It was frizzed out all over her head. But the thing that shocked Clarke more than anything, were the thick rimmed glasses that sat on Lexa's face, they only served to make her eyes look more brilliant and green than they usually did. 

A small smile spread across Clarke's face as she looked at the other girl.

“What are you smiling at?” Lexa asked.

“I didn’t know that you wore glasses,” she replied, Lexa nodded her head slowly.

“Yeah… I wear contacts at school… Are you smiling because it's bad?” she asked, as a small blush crept onto her face.

She shook her head, and before Clarke even knew what she was thinking she said, “You look cute.” Lexa gave Clarke a tightlipped smile before looking down at her comforter.

She didn’t know what to say next. She didn’t know if she should say anything at all or if she should just ignore what Clarke had said.

Truthfully, she hadn’t known what to say since Clarke got there, all the night before she had just been winging it

She didn’t know Clarke that well. She didn’t know what jokes could be made, if any, she didn’t know whether to keep things serious given recent events, had anyone else been sat here now Lexa would have known what to do, but when it came to Clarke she was clueless.

She wanted things to be easy between them, but the truth was, things were awkward, they always had been and somewhere in the back of her mind, Lexa thought that things might always be that way.

She didn’t know why Clarke had trusted her last night, all she knew was that she didn’t want a lecture from Raven and Octavia, but still Lexa thought that out of all the people Clarke knew she would have been the last name on the list of people to turn to, apart from Anya maybe.

Their whole friendship, if you could really call it that, seemed to be based on the fact that they had mutual friends.

The silence that had fallen between them had gone far past awkward at this stage. Lexa took a deep breath and decided to change the subject that they had been on.

“Do you want anything to eat?” she asked quietly, “I can make you some breakfast if you want anything?” Clarke nodded her head slowly. “Okay. Well you just wait here and I’ll bring some food up.”

* * *

 

Lexa walked into the kitchen, her eyes widened as she looked around at the mess. Pancake batter seemed to cover every inch of the kitchen counter.

She stood in the doorway, and turned to face Aden, the younger boy gave her a beaming smile. “Good morning!” he greeted her cheerfully.

“Look at this place, what the hell Aid,” Lexa all but yelled as she looked around the kitchen. She didn’t realise how anyone could make so much of a mess.

“I wanted pancakes.” He shrugged.

“You’re supposed to put the batter in the pan to make pancakes, not everywhere else in the kitchen. What the fuck?” she asked again.

“See that’s where I went wrong thank you for enlightening me,” he replied sarcastically. “I made one batch… but they tasted like ass so I threw them out and then-“

“You have a lot of experience in what ass tastes like?” Lexa asked jokingly, Aden sighed and gave his elder sister and unamused look.

“Ha ha. No.” he snapped.

“Move out of the way I’ll make breakfast,” Lexa said, “You know, I really don’t know how you’re gonna cope when I’m in college and mom’s not around. How are you gonna survive on your own?”

“Lexa, I have your number on speed dial, I’ll be calling you for help constantly. Let’s face it.”

“Well what if I’m busy with class, you think that I’m gonna leave something early, or stop doing work to help your sorry ass?” she joked, “no way, bro, you need to learn how to fend for yourself.”

“You’re the worst sister ever.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, “Please. You love me.”

“You’re not that great. I only need you around to make me food.” He joked with a small shrug.

As Lexa was mixing the batter together for their pancakes, the door cracker open a little bit, Aden turned his head first, only to see the same blonde haired girl he’s answered the door to the night before.

He looked between Clarke and Lexa, before giving his elder sister a questioning look. Lexa looked up to Aden before turning her head and seeing the other girl.

She gave her a soft smile before saying, “Hey. What are doing down here, I told you I’d bring it up,” Lexa said softly, she could see Aden from the corner of her eyes looking between them both, confusion etched on his face.

“Yeah. I know.” Clarke replied, “But I didn’t want to be alone, I was just sat in silence and it all gave me too much time to think.” she admitted, “and I can’t afford myself that much thinking time right now. My mind has a way of running away with it’s self.”

“Oh… okay,” Lexa nodded, “Well just have a seat; I’m making pancakes and bacon, that’s good with you right?”

Clarke nodded her head, “Yeah. That’s great.”

* * *

 

After breakfast the three of them had retreated into the living room to have a movie marathon, Clarke had barely touched her food, Lexa didn’t blame her though, she knew that if what had happened to Clarke last night ever happened to her she wouldn’t want food either.

Aden had insisted on them watching _Star Wars_ , starting with episodes one to three, much to Lexa’s dismay. She had always said the only redeeming quality to these three movies was Natalie Portman, and she stood by that.

Somewhere through the first movie they watched, Clarke took hold of Lexa’s hand, she wasn’t sure if it was a natural reflex, and something that she used to do with Finn and if she did it as a habit, or if she was looking for the closeness she’s been given last night

Either way, Lexa made no attempt to move her hand away from Clarke’s, instead, she had gentle stroked her thumb over the back of Clarke's hand, trying to reassure her that someone was there. That someone did care about her, and that she didn't have to go through any of this alone.

Lexa wasn't sure exactly how long she and Clarke had been hand in hand before the living room door opened quickly, banging against the wall. Lexa and Aden snapped their heads around so fast that Clarke was sure they would both have whiplash. It was only when Lexa saw the older woman that she removed her hand from Clarke’s.

She looked up at the clock and saw that it was already almost midday. She definitely hadn’t been expecting Clarke to be around when her mom came home from work.

“Hi Mom,” Aden greeted cheerfully.

“Hey, sweetie,” she replied.

Clarke looked at the new person in the room, she was the opposite of what she had been expecting to see if she ever met Lexa’s mom.

She was a pretty woman, she had never doubted that she would be, she couldn’t imagine her being anything but attractive having a daughter that looked like Lexa.

She was younger than Clarke had imagined, extremely young to say that she had two teenaged children. She was a curvy woman, with a rounded face, nothing like her angular and toned daughter; she had very little jaw definition. Her lips were thinner than Lexa’s, her eyes blue, and her skin was far paler than the younger girl’s. The only thing that made her anything like Lexa was the dark, curly hair that she had.

It was just as wild as Lexa’s, she could see that from the way that it had started to push it’s way out of the high, tight pony tail that she had it in.

Lexa’s mom looked at the unfamiliar face sitting on the couch next to Lexa, she turned to look at her daughter, her eyebrows were raised, her expression questioning. The dark haired girl closed her eyes and screwed her face up slightly before sighing.

“Lexa. Who’s this?” she asked, nodding in the direction of Clarke.

“Mom, this is my friend, Clarke Griffin,” Lexa introduced them, “Clarke this is-“

“Your Mom?” Clarke replied, Lexa nodded her head, “It’s really nice to meet you Mrs. Woods.”

Lexa’s mom walked towards the blonde haired girl and shook her hand, “Please, call me Elizabeth.” She replied with a soft smile, “Mrs. Woods, is Alexandria’s grandmother.”

“Okay.” she smiled, “Lex, I’m just gonna go upstairs and put some actual clothes on, okay?” she said. Lexa nodded her head slowly and watched Clarke as she left the room.

Elizabeth smiled until Clarke was out of sight, once the blonde girl had vanished Elizabeth turned to face Lexa, “Well, she is very pretty. Why didn’t you tell me that you were having someone over today?”

Lexa opened her mouth to say something before Aden cut her off. “She’s been here since last night.” Lexa turned to face the blonde haired boy, glaring at him slightly. “What she has been.” He said defending himself.

“Mom, I swear that it’s not like it sounds. I’ll tell you everything later, but right now all you need to know is that she’s a friend.”

“Just a friend?” Elizabeth asked, her tone somewhat accusing.

“Yes.”

“You know that I don’t mind you dating Lexa, I just want you to be honest about it… at least that way I know what’s actually happening around here.”

“Oh my god, I’m not lying to you. Clarke is just my friend.”

“Then why’d she spend the night?” Aden asked.

“Aden, I swear to god, shut up, before I end you,” Lexa threatened. “She stayed her last night because she’d been crying and I didn’t want her driving home when she was sad.”

“You promise me that’s it?” Elizabeth asked.

Lexa nodded her head, “Yeah. I was just trying to look out for a friend.”

“Okay… well I guess I can't exactly be mad at you for that, can I?" Elizabeth sighed. She turned her head to look at the door that Clarke had just left through, before turning back to face your daughter, "I suppose that you'd better get going. We wouldn't wanna keep your blonde stowaway waiting, would we?" she teased. Lexa rolled her eyes before pushing herself up from her seat. 

* * *

 

 _Finn <3    
_ _Can we talk now or are you still raging?_

 _Finn <3_  
_It was just a mistake, Clarke. People make mistakes all the time._

 _Finn <3_  
_I said that I was sorry and I really meant that. Please stop ignoring me._

 _Finn <3_  
_Baby, please come over, I wanna talk to you. I love you._

 _Finn <3_  
_Come on Clarke, I’ve been trying to get in touch all morning. Just talk to me_.

She read and re-read his texts, and every time she did a new rush of anger entered her. “Asshole.” She grumbled just as Lexa made her way into the room.

“Wow. What a greeting.” She said sarcastically.

“Not you. Obviously. It’s Finn.”

“What’s he done now?”

“He just keeps texting me saying that he wants me to go over so we can talk about this.”

“Do you want to talk to him?” Lexa asked.

“No.” Clarke replied quickly, before she turned her mouth down in thought, “Yes… maybe, I don’t know, Lex.” She admitted, “I’m scared that if I go and talk to him, that I’m gonna want him back. I am scared that he’ll use his charm to persuade me to take him back.”

“And you don’t want that?”

“I love him.” Clarke said, matter-of-factly, “But no. I don’t think I can forgive him this time… Cheating is just one thing that I do find unforgiveable. Love has taken a back seat this time… he doesn’t love me that way he says he does anyway.”

“So what, you plan to just ignore him?”

Clarke nodded her head, “I know that I can’t ignore him forever, but I don’t have to talk to him right now, do I?” she asked. Lexa shook her head slowly.

“No you don’t… I think you need some space maybe?”

Clarke smiled sadly “I definitely need some space from him, that’s for sure. But what am I gonna do on Monday when I can’t ignore him?” she asked, “What am I gonna do when I can’t help but see him.”

“I don’t know… the only advice I have is that you have to walk into that school, with your head held high, just walk in to those halls and just act as if you own it. Own everything. Own the fact that you broke up with him and he is literally begging you to take him back. Own-“

“Own the fact that he found me so sexually disinteresting that he cheated on me with some random skank in Cape Cod?” she asked, cutting her off. “Because honestly that’s all I keep thinking about… and I have to go to school, not only knowing that he is there, that I still love him and he broke me, but knowing that all of our friends know and that soon enough everyone else will know and I have to deal with that. Tell me how I am supposed to own feeling so shitty.”

“Clarke Griffin you listen to me, Finn is nothing but a rat… actually he might be worse than that, I don’t have a word for what he is.” She shook her head, “And you’re so much better than him… and if you don’t see that, there isn’t a thing I can do about it… you might just have to trust me on it though.”

“You have to say things like that you’re my friend.”

“Yeah and I’m his friend, too… but listen to me, what he did to you was wrong. And I’m not just saying these things to you as a friend. I’m saying them because I happen to think that it’s true… I don’t say things that I don’t mean.”

“It’s just so humiliating, though.” she replied, her voice cracking slightly, “It’s so humiliating.” Lexa nodded her head and took hold of Clarke’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze just as she had the night before.

“Yeah. I know it is.”

“Yeah. How?” Clarke asked.

Lexa shrugged, “Because you’re telling me that it is.” She admitted, “I’ve never experienced anything like this. But if it’s gotten you down then it must be bad, you’re one of the strongest people that I know. You’re a fighter, so for you to be acting like this, it has to be bad.”

“It is.” She nodded her head, “It just, sucks.”

“You deserve better.” Lexa said, “No body deserves what he did to you.”

“Lexa… do you think that your Mom would mind me being here another night?” Clarke asked, “I don’t want to go home just yet. The weekends at the hospital are always busy, so my Mom won’t be home… and Marcus is a nice guy and he tries, but he just wouldn’t understand what I’m feeling right now.”

Lexa nodded her head slowly, “I'll have to ask her, but I can't see her saying no. I honestly think that you'll be welcome here anytime you need anything.”

“Your Mom seems really great,” Clarke smiled, “It’s easy to see where you get it from.”

“Get what from?” Lexa asked.

“Just it… All of it... just, tell her thanks?”

“Yeah no problem… besides, I’m sure that your mom would do the same for anyone of us if we needed it, right?” Lexa asked, though there was something in the tone of her voice that wasn’t so sure.

* * *

The rest of their Saturday had been mainly uneventful, Lexa's mom had spent most of the day in bed after working the night shift and then doing some over time, which meant things were fairly quiet in the house. Lexa and Clarke had spend their day in Lexa's room, watching more movies in complete and utter silence, never once even trying to make conversation with each other. 

Lexa made a late lunch for Aden, Clarke and herself, this time, Clarke had managed to eat something. She had made small talk with Aden, asking him how he was feeling about starting high school. 

She'd always like Aden. She'd always thought that he had a certain charm about him, she was learning that, that charm seemed to run in the family. 

Her night had been very similar to the last, she'd been okay for the most part, until the lights were turned off, and once again she could hear the ticking of her father's watch on Lexa's bedside table.

It was when all the lights were turned off, and she was in silence save for the ticking sound, that she quietly cried herself to sleep.

* * *

 

They’d spent the best part of their Sunday morning lounging around in Lexa’s bedroom after both of them had showered. Clarke wasn’t used to seeing Lexa without make-up yet, even the full day she’d had with her hadn’t been enough. She didn’t understand how the dark haired girl still managed to look good without even trying.

It was just something else to add to the list of things that infuriated her about Lexa. 

“Lexa I’m bored.” Clarke whined.

“What do you want me to do about it?” Lexa asked sitting up slightly and looking at the other girl. Clarke shrugged her shoulders.

“Can we please go and do something?” Clarke asked, “Like no offense, I really appreciate everything that you’ve done for me this weekend, but I don’t think I can take being locked in this house anymore.”

Lexa smiled, “Trust me I know the feeling,” she replied, “Yes. We can go do something… I can call all the other’s too and see if they wan-“

“No.” Clarke said, shaking her head quickly, “I don’t wanna see anyone else right now… I know that I have to see them tomorrow, but I don’t have much of a choice in that matter.” She admitted. “I won’t be able to deal with the questions. I don’t want people to be all over me and I know they will be.”

“I could fend them off… I don’t mean to brag about this, but I’m pretty scrappy.” Lexa joked. Clarke shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“I don’t doubt that, and thank you. But right now, I would like to keep the socialising to a bare minimum. At least until I don’t have a choice and have to interact with more people.”

Lexa nodded her head, “Yeah. Okay… so what do you want to do?”

“Honestly, I don’t care.” Clarke admitted, “I just wanna be outside, doing something, anything.”

“Well today will go one of two ways,” Lexa admitted with a shrug, “We’ll either have a great time, or will find nothing to do and have the most boring day ever.” She smiled, “Either way, you’re going to want some better clothes than pyjamas.”

* * *

 

The drive to Clarke’s house saw them engaging in the most conversation that they ever had with each other. Admittedly, Clarke had done most of the talking, she didn’t know how long she had been talking for before she realised that their conversation had been completely one sided.

All Lexa had been doing was nodding her head, and maybe asking the odd question here and there to keep Clarke talking.

“I have been talking about myself for far too long,” Clarke smiled. “Now it’s your turn,” she turned her head to face Lexa, “You have got to have some stuff to say that I haven’t heard yet.”

Lexa shrugged her shoulders, “Honestly, there isn’t that much to say. You know a lot of my stories because you were in them, and I can’t tell you other stories, because Anya would shoot me.” she joked.

Clarke rolled her eyes, “There has to be something that you can tell me, like, tell me something about yourself that I don’t know… seriously, it can be anything.”

“There honestly isn’t that much to know about me, Clarke,” Lexa replied smiling softly at the other girl. “I am a very simple person. What you see is what you get.” She shrugged.

“That is such bullshit, and I don’t believe it for a second.” Clarke replied, “Just tell me something about yourself. I really feel like I don’t even know you… which is kind of bad, Lexa, we’ve been hanging out with each other now since freshmen year, and I practically know nothing about you.”

Lexa and Clarke had started hanging out with each other a few weeks into their freshmen year of high school; she’d seen her around, in the hallways, the cafeteria and some of her classes, more specifically study hall.

She could remember how she only ever seemed to see her in a small group of three; Lexa, another- slightly taller- girl and a boy (who she later learned to be Anya and Lincoln.)

She remembered how she felt when she first saw them striding down the hallway, and how each and every one of them looked like the lucky winners of some sort of generic lottery, and how Lexa had clearly won the biggest jackpot she could have.

She remembered being so intimidated by the other girl, yet oddly captivated by her eyes the first time she had seen them. They’d reminded Clarke of a forest. She’d never seen eyes that were so fiercely green in her life. And she’d found herself completely lost in them the first time that they’d made eye contact.

Though she’d quickly shaken all thoughts about the other girl from her head. Pinning everything down to admiration more than anything else.

A couple of weeks into the semester Raven had introduce her to Lexa after she had stopped by to talk to Raven about their trigonometry work.

After that Raven and Lexa began to talk to each other a lot more in passing, and soon those casual hello’s in the hallway turned into Lexa, Anya and Lincoln joining them for lunch, and inevitably, the three of them had been easily integrated into the group, of course, Jasper had been very keen to keep Lexa around after developing a not so small, or subtle crush on her.

And now here they were in senior year, still friends- sort of- and yet she was still no wiser on many things about Lexa, she’d always been something of a closed book. She knew simple things about her that had been mentioned when they were all together but that was it.

She didn’t know anything personal about her, and she’d always been okay with that. But suddenly, she found herself eager to know more about her.

“You know what you need to know about me.” Lexa said, “Besides, you never cared to ask before.” she shrugged.

“Well I’m asking now, so tell me something about you.”

Lexa sighed, “You’re not gonna stop asking until I tell you something, are you?” she asked, Clarke shook her head and gave her a smug smile. “Okay, fine. What do you want to know?”

“Just basic stuff, y’know things like your full name, or your favourite band, favourite song, colour or animal.” Clarke shrugged, “I just wanna know some stuff about you… I know that I never asked before and I should have, but I’m asking now. Because I wanna know.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, she felt like she was back in her first day of middle school, being made to do ice breakers with the class. “My full name is Alexandria Jeanette Woods.”

“Really?” Clarke asked, Lexa nodded her head slowly, “I like it.” she replied, “I think that it suits you.” she smiled, “I mean, it makes you sound really preppy and rich though.”

“How?”

“Oh come on, Alexandria Jeanette Woods?” Clarke smiled, “That’s a rich kid’s name if I’ve ever heard one.” she teased, Lexa rolled her eyes and shook her head, “Why are you called that?”

“Because my parent’s liked the name?” Lexa replied, furrowing her eyebrows at the blonde haired girl.

“No I mean like, are you named after anyone?” She asked, “Like, I’m named after my Mom… my middle name is Abigail, which is her first name.”

“Erm, well my Dad’s called Alexander, and my grandma, that’s my Mom’s mom is called Jeanette.” She shrugged. “So, I guess it’s a family thing.”

“Well, I really like it.”

* * *

 

“Wow, seeing this place kind of puts my room to shame,” Lexa said as she walked into Clarke’s bedroom, it was quite bigger than her own, and a little messier, not in an untidy way, just in an unorganised way, she hadn’t really known what she was expecting from Clarke’s room until she’d seen it.

The walls we’re covered in pictures, magazine clippings, and doodles that Clarke had drawn herself. She could only just vaguely make out the pale yellow on the walls in the gaps of the pictures. Her bed was on the back wall, with two sets of drawers on either side of it. One set of draws had perfumes and her hair brush on it, while the other had a digital clock and a lamp on it.

She walked over to the bed and sat down, she hadn't expected herself to sink into the mattress the way that she did. 

“Shut up, it doesn’t.” Clarke replied, “Your bedroom is homely, I know that I felt comfortable in there.” she smiled at the other girl. Clarke pulled out a pair of shorts and a tank-top from her closet and threw them onto the bed. “I’m just gonna get changed in here. At this point I don’t care what you see.”

“Trust me. I won’t look.”

“Wouldn’t matter even if you did.”

Lexa smiled and shook her head, “Thanks but I’ll pass.” She stood up and walked to the other side of Clarke’s room to the corkboard on her wall that had a number of pictures pinned to it.

Lexa looked between the pictures, seeing her own face a couple of times on pictures with Anya and Octavia, or Clarke and at least one of the others. 

She couldn’t help but smile as she looked through the pictures that seemed to span through their whole friendship, from the very beginning right up until the most recent.

She couldn’t believe just how much they had all changed in those few years, their faces all appeared to be slimmer as they grew older and all of them seemed to have matured in the best way possible.

At the bottom left of the corkboard, she came across a picture that she never expected to see.

“Hey. When was this taken?” Lexa asked, pointing to the picture of Clarke and herself. It was a candid shot of them both sitting by the campfire, and as usual, they seemed to be having one of their many confrontations. Clarke's jaw seemed to be set tight on it, while Lexa looked to be leaning forwards, her eyebrows furrowed, hands out slightly, palms facing upwards. 

Clarke walked over to Lexa and smiled, “It was taken this summer, I didn’t know it existed until I went through all the pictures on my camera. I put it on there because I found it funny that someone seemed to catch us arguing… though I do admit that I am sad it’s the only picture that exists of _just_ the two of us.”

Lexa smiled and nodded her head slowly, “Guess we’ll have to take some more with the time that we have left then.” She mumbled as she continued to look at all of the pictures. Clarke’s eyes fell onto one of herself and Finn, she was smiling into the camera, her eyes glazed over, her cheeks were red. Finn was kissing her cheek, smiling slightly. “You okay?” Lexa asked, looking from Clarke to the picture.

Clarke nodded her head and grabbed the photograph of herself and Finn, pulling it off of the pin-board. She swiftly tore to photo in half, before dropping in into the small trash can in her room.

She dropped onto her bed and looked up at Lexa with a small pout on her face. “It was a recent one, but I think it was one of my favourites of us... it was a really fun trip... all those pictures on there mean something to me... but that one meant more." She admitted, her voice no louder than a whisper.

Lexa laid down on the bed next to her and offered her a soft smile, “All of this is going to get easier y’know?” she said, “I promise.”

“Okay but how do you know that?”

Lexa shrugged, “I have pretty good intuition… I mean, how many things have you known me to be wrong about?” she asked.

“True.”

“Look, I’m not a relationship expert, and I definitely don’t claim to be, honestly, I’ve been sort of winging it this entire weekend.” She divulged, “But please just trust me on this one, okay? I know that it sucks now, and it’s going to. Probably for a while, he was your first love right?”

Clarke nodded her head, “Yeah.”

“Well there you go, people say that your first love is always the hardest to get over. I’m not going to sit here and tell you it’s going to be easy, I don’t think that it will be. But you just need to give it some time… that’s the only thing that can really fix a heart.”

“Well can you help me fix it faster?”

Lexa nodded her head slowly, “Yeah, of course,” she replied softly. “I’ll do anything that I can.”

Clarke smiled at the taller girl and moved closer to her on the bed, bringing her into a cuddle. She let out a soft sigh when Lexa draped her arm over her waist, and pulled her closer to her body.

She buried her face into Lexa's neck, she took a deep breath, taking in the scent of Lexa's shampoo and perfume. It was the same scent that had given her so much comfort over the space of one weekend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A pretty similar chapter to the last one here, just Clarke trying to get over her heartbreak. These chapters will probably begin to get longer as more things start to happen. But these first two chapters were just to set up and establish the relationship Clarke and Lexa have with each other, so that we could fully establish the Clexa friendship stage before moving on to bigger things. 
> 
> The rest of the gang makes an appearance in the next chapter, which will give some insight to the relationship that Clarke and Lexa have with the everyone else, as well as each other. 
> 
> Any mistakes are my own as I don't have a beta. 
> 
> Hope you like it


	3. Brand New Start

"It just doesn't make sense though," Monty said as he leaned against the hood of Bellamy's car. "They're Clarke and Finn— I never thought anything like this would happen to them.” He shook his head slowly, “I honestly just sort of thought they were the real deal, y’know?” He asked.

Ever since the news had broken out between the group of friends about Clarke and Finn's breakup it seemed to all any of them could talk about, never before had so much drama been involved between the eleven friends.

Jasper nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah I know man, it’s gotta be hurting them both. Just imagine being with someone for that long and then, poof, it’s all over. Just like that.” He snapped his fingers for added emphasis. “I was only with Maya for like, five months and it destroyed me when she moved to a different state and broke up with me. This has to be some next level heart ache.”

Anya rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh “Why do any of you even care about all of this so much?” she asked, “Seriously, it’s all you guys have talked about since yesterday— honestly, I’m a little bored of it all now.”

“We care about this because they’re our friends, and this whole situation sort of sucks ass.” Bellamy replied.

“I’ll admit that it sucks, and on some small level, yes I feel for them. But can we move on now. We all talked about this last night.”

Raven scoffed, “Not all of us. Lexa didn’t have anything to say about the matter. Y’know it hurts that she left all those messages on read, it’s so unlike her.” She said, an air of sarcasm slipping into her tone.

“She ignored it because she probably doesn’t care that much. I promise you now that Lexa has a lot more important things to worry about than all of this. In fact, I think we all do. So let’s just drop it now, please?”

“Come on, they’re our friends, you’ve gotta care about this, even if it’s only a little bit. Break-ups change things and this one could literally change _everything_ for all of us.”

“How could this possibly affect me?” Murphy asked, seemingly having found a newfound interest in the topic. “I didn’t sign up for this shit, it’s their relationship.”

“Yeah, but it’s our friendship.” Monty replied, “If things ended badly for them we might have to pick sides, our little group could easily disband.” He sighed, “Seriously, what do we do?”

Bellamy shrugged his shoulders slightly, “I honestly have no idea, I guess it all depends on what actually happened. Maybe it was mutual and they just wanna be friends?”

“I doubt it,” Octavia shook her head slowly, “Clarke was so infatuated with him. There’s no way this is a mutual thing.”

"We can’t actually make any calls here until we know what happened… do any of you guys know anything?” Bellamy asked, looking mainly at Octavia

and Raven.

Raven shook her head slowly, “No.” she sighed, “I couldn’t get a hold of Clarke last night, as soon as I saw their relationship statuses change, I tried to call her. At the end of the day she was my priority, not Finn.” Raven admitted. “I only made the group because she wouldn’t answer I thought maybe one of you guys knew something.”

Octavia shook her head, “I didn’t have any luck either. I must have tried for hours. Seriously, she’s gotta have like, a hundred missed calls from me. Once I couldn’t get through by calling her I tried every form of social media that I could. Pretty sure I’m blocked at this point.”

“Well, I know a little but I sort of promised I wouldn’t tell anyone.” Lincoln admitted in a quiet voice. Octavia turned her head towards him and quirked her eyebrow. “I promised him.” He said again.

“I don’t count in things like that. You’re still supposed to tell _me_.” she said jokingly, letting out a small sigh, “Now come on, spill.”

“Fine,” he rolled his eyes, “When I saw their relationship status change, I called Finn, I knew one of you guys would handle Clarke. He picked up after like two rings, we spoke for a little bit before hand, but then I asked him what happened and he didn’t go into much detail, but I do know that _she_ broke up with _him_.”

 

* * *

 

Clarke had never been on for the theatrics, and she didn't want to think of herself as being a dramatic person, on a typical day she wasn't, not really, not when she compared herself to the likes of Lexa and Bellamy- though neither of them would ever admit it, and both denied it to the best of their abilities they were definitely the most dramatic people that Clarke knew.

But when she pulled into parking lot that morning she couldn't help but notice how everything suddenly felt different. The air around her seemed to be thicker than ever before and there was a much duller atmosphere around her making the air feel heavier on her shoulders and suddenly, she felt like she was being suffocated.

All she wanted to do was run.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, willing herself to open her eyes and find herself back in Lexa's bedroom, away from here and away from the thoughts of being at school and having to face the truth head on.

She wanted to be back in the taller girl's bed, curled up into a tight ball with Lexa close to her. Over the weekend she'd felt safer, and calmer, she definitely hadn't felt nearly as worthless as she did now with the thoughts of seeing him for the first time since the breakup running around her head.

She wanted to breath in everything that was Lexa, her perfume, her shampoos and shower gels, she wanted to immerse herself into Lexa's promises and kind words. Just so she could be somewhere that wasn't tainted with everything that is Finn Collins.

But no, Clarke definitely wasn't dramatic.

And one thing is for sure, she would never admit to anyone about the melodramatic thoughts that plagued her that morning.

A quiet tapping on the window of her car pulled her from her thoughts with a start, she opened her eyes and was greeted with Lexa's soft smile and kind grren eyes. She rolled down her window and gave the taller girl a small smile. "Hey you, are you okay in there?" Lexa asked tilting her head to the side slightly.

"Yeah, just thinking." Clarke admitted, "How're you?"

Lexa nodded her head slowly, "I'm good thanks."

"Good," she replied, "Look are you gonna get in the car or am I gonna talk to you through a window?" Clarke asked with a small smile on her face, Lexa rolled her eyes and walked around to the passenger side of the car and climbed in. "No Aden?" Clarke asked, quirking her eyebrow.

Lexa shook her head, "Nah, he went to see his friends. He's super nervous though, I'm actually a little worried about him myself, I know I shouldn't be and that he's a big boy now and can look after himself but still, he's my baby brother, and to me he's still exactly that... a baby." she admitted

"I get why he'd be nervous, but why are you?" Clarke asked, "Any particular reason?"

"He sort of got bullied through middle school," Lexa explained, "He didn't have too many friends, luckily some of his friends did come here, but most of them were going to different schools, the only problem is most of his bullies came here... I couldn't do anything about any of them last year, but now I can, seriously, if anyone so much as looks at him in a wrong way they're gonna have me to answer to."

"But Aden's like, super cool, and nice- why would anyone want to bully him?"

"Because some kids are dicks," Lexa shrugged, "Like I said he does have friends, he isn't a total loner- but all of it made him feel very neurotic and now he just sort of feels like because it happened in middle school it'll definitely happen here."

“Poor guy,” Clarke mumbled, “He’s the complete opposite to you, isn’t he?” she asked, “I couldn’t imagine you letting something like that effect you, at all.”

"Because I wouldn't," Lexa shrugged, "I've sort of been pushed around before, and I saw it happen to other people and one day I just decided that enough was enough and that I wasn't going to be like that anymore- I get that way of thinking isn't for everyone, but it works for me. Aden is too much like our mom to just brush things off. Aden is so much like our mom that sometimes it scares me. The only way he's different is that he has blonde hair like our dad. But Aden and my mom are a lot kinder than I am."

"Oh come on Lexa, you're not a bad person and you know that- I mean, sure you're different to Aden because you don't seem like the kind of person who care's what other people think of you."

"I care." She divulged, "I happen to care a hell of a lot about what other people think of me," she smiled softly, "I just don't let other people know it. So if you ever tell anyone what I just told you, I'll kick your ass." She joked.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone, AJ." She replied smiling.

Lexa turned her head to face the blonde haired girl. "What did you just call me?" she asked, Clarke could see that the expression on Lexa's face had shifted slightly.

"I called you AJ, y'know, Alexandria Jeanette, so AJ."

"My dad was the only person who ever called me that. He always called me AJ or Alex, but no one else ever has."

"Oh," Clarke said she looked down at her hands briefly before looking up and meeting Lexa's green eyes, "What's your dad like?" she asked, Clarke watched as Lexa furrowed her eyebrows slightly. "I'm only wondering because you said that Aden is like your mom, but you never mentioned your dad. I figured maybe you're like him?"

Clarke didn't know much about Lexa's home life, none of them did apart from Lincoln and Anya. All Clarke knew was that Lexa's mom and dad had seperated when Lexa was a child, and that Lexa had been named after her father- and as she had just found out her dad called her AJ or Alex. It had never crossed her mind before now just how much of a closed book Lexa could be.

Lexa nodded her head slowly, "You figured correctly." she admitted, "I'm actually a lot like him, and that's not always a good thing."

"Why is it not a good thing?" Clarke asked, "What's your dad like?"

"How about you ask me some of these questions again some other time?"

Clarke nodded her head slowly, there was a beat of silence before Clarke spoke again, deciding that it was better to just change the subject than pry any further into any aspect of Lexa's personal life. "So have you seen any of the others yet?"

Lexa shook her head slowly, "No. They always park in the front parking lot, and I never do, too many squealing girls around there for my liking."

“That’s one of the reasons I’m here today, too.” Clarke admitted, “I just want some quiet, y’know?”

Lexa nodded her head, "Well good luck getting peace and quiet here." Lexa mumbled, "How're you feeling about, all that stuff?" she asked.

"A little better, I guess." Clarke sighed, "I am dreading today. I just know that there are gonna be so many questions, and then I actually have to see him again, and possibly even have to talk to him again- and I will talk to him if I see him." she admitted, "It's all just worrying, the last time I saw him I was so angry and I still am so who know's what'll happen." she shrugged, "All I know is, right now, I don't feel the need to cry anymore. So, I guess, that things are looking up for me."

"It definitely sounds that way," Lexa replied, "and I did mean what I said to you y'know?"

“About what?”

“That I’d fight people off for you if you needed me too. I mean it when I say that I’m pretty scrappy.”

“Sure you are,” Clarke replied sardonically, “I can totally see you taking on Bellamy, or maybe even Lincoln, I’m sure you’d totally win them.”

"Hey. Lincoln has been terrified or me ever since I broke his arm when we were kids- and Bellamy, pffft, he ain't all that," she joked.

"You really broke Lincoln's arm?" She asked, sounding doubtful.

Lexa nodded her head, "Yeah. I pushed him off of a rope swing down by this lake when we were like ten," she explained, "He told me that I couldn't play with him and these other boys because I was a girl and was too small, so I pushed him over as he was climbing onto the swing, he fell and broke his arm. And that was the last time he ever said I couldn't play with them."

"That sounds a little agressive," Clarke joked, "You need anger management."

Lexa nodded her head, "Yeah probably," she said proudly, making a small grin surface onto Clarke’s face.

 

* * *

 

"You honestly expect us to believe that _Clarke_ broke up with _Finn_?" Murphy asked, "I'll take thing that never happened for five-hundred, Alex." he shook his head slowly. "There's no way that's the truth."

"I'm telling you the truth, Finn told me last night- on Friday Clarke went over to his place after he got back from seeing his brother and she broke up with him."

"Okay, and how many other things has he lied about in the past?" Raven asked, "He doesn't exactly have the best track record with this type of stuff." Raven shrugged. "Don't get me wrong, I like the guy, well mainly because I had to learn to like him for Clarke- but either way that boy is a snake and well all know this. I honestly don't think that any of us can trust him much."

"All I know is that he sounded real wounded by the whole thing," Lincoln shrugged, "all of you said that you wanted to know what happened. I've told you what I know and suddenly that's not good enough? See this is why he told me not to tell any of you. All you guys do is judge him, it's like he can't do anything right."

"No one said what you're telling us isn't good enough babe," Octavia said rolled her eyes, "We all just think he's not a trust worthy guy, and with all the stuff he's done to Clarke in the past can you honestly say that you disagree with any of us?" she asked.

"I believe him." Lincoln shrugged.

Jasper nodded his head slowly, "I do too," he said. "I don't see why he'd lie about this, it's not like he had anything to gain from any of it. He might have done a lot of things in the past, but he did love Clarke and I don't think that he'd ever want to lose her. He knew he was on to a good thing with that girl.

"No one said that he wanted to lose her," Raven said, "But what I am saying is when have you ever known Finn to be completely innocent in any of the fights that they've had?" she asked.

"There's a first time for everything, right?" Jasper asked, jumping to Finn's defense, "I truly believe in the whole innocent until proven guilty thing- and right now all any of us can go on is that Clarke broke his heart- we can't say if that's a lie or not."

"I still just don't care," Anya admitted, "And honestly I think we need to drop it before we bump into one of them. It's really as simple as that. We will find out what happened when they want us to, because they'll tell us. And if they don't tell us then they don't want us to know what actually happened. So Clarke broke up with Finn- we don't really need to know any more than that."

"Well I want to know," Raven replied, "If she really did break up with him then I want to know exactly what he did, because yeah he might have loved her, but she _really_ loved him, like literally he was it for her. There is no way on this earth she broke up with him without good reason."

"Well I'm walking away now, because quite frankly I think you're all playing with fire, and children, yes _children_ which is what you are all being right now, get burned." Anya shrugged, "I am done with this now, I have more important things to worry about and to focus on and quite frankly I think we all do. So I'm gonna go find Lexa because she texted me this morning saying that Aden is freaking the fuck out. So I will see you around."

She shrugged her bag further onto her shoulder and set off walking through the school. 

"Sometimes, like only sometimes, I get the feeling that Anya doesn't care and doesn't actually like any of us," Jasper said in a joking tone.

"Yeah she doesn't." Lincoln replied.

 

* * *

 

Anya knew that Lexa had never once been late to school, she also knew that Lexa had perfect attendance so she was bound to either see her in the school building or the parking lot around the back of the school- she just hoped that she wouldn't be looking for too long. Anya started by making her way through the school, looking for any signs of Lexa's wild, dark brown hair. Every so often as she passed by other seniors she would ask if they had seen Lexa, everytime she asked she was answered with a shake of the head.

She made her way through the school until she reached the parking lot, she decided it would be easier to search for the other girl's car- it always stood out in a crowd, mainly because it was so old and beat down to all the others. However, as she scanned the parking lot for any signs of the beat up her eyes fell onto something that she never thought she'd see.

She furrowed her eyebrows slightly when she saw Lexa and Clarke sitting in the blonde girl's car with small smiles plastered on their faces. She wasn't used to seeing them so close and acting so civil towards each other. Usually when they were talking to each other, they'd be yelling, whenever they were together the air always seemed to be thick with tension. But this looked anything but tense.

Anya walked towards Clarke's car and tapped harshly on the window pulling the other two girl's from their conversation. Clarke rolled down her window and gave Anya a questioning look, "Can I help you?" she asked, her voice quiet as she tool in the way that Anya was eyeing Lexa suspiciously.

"No," she shook her head, "But I would like that have a word with Lexa." Anya replied, her tone of voice harsh, cold. Lexa sighed and rolled her eyes before turning to Clarke, she opened her mouth to say something before Clarke stopped her.

"No. Go ahead, I'll be fine."

“Are you sure?”

Clarke nodded her head “Yes. I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself.” She smiled, “Now go. If I need anything I’ll just come and find you.”

Lexa nodded her head and smiled, as she grabbed hold of the door handle, she had barely pushed the door open, before Anya had her arm in a vice like grip, and was dragging her in the direction of the girl’s toilets inside the school building. She checked all the cubicles, and it was only when she was sure they were alone that she let go of Lexa’s arm.

"Ouch!" Lexa complained, "That's a pretty tight grip you've got there, An, I feel sorry for any boy you've ever-" Anya cut her off with a quick, hard flick to the forehead. "What the hell was that for?" she asked.

"Are you gonna tell me what the hell you were doing sitting in Clarke's car with her just then?" Anya asked.

Lexa shrugged, "Nothing special, we were just talking." she admitted.

"About?"

"Her and Finn's breakup."

"Why?"

"Because, me and Clarke are sort of friends, and that's what friend's do, they listen to each others problems."

"I understand what friends do, Lex, what I don't understand is why _she_ would be talking about all of this shit to _you_... how long exactly have you been talking to her about this shit? What do you know about all this anyway?"

"Not too long, and nothing." She lied.

"Lexa, what do you know about this?" she treied again, Lexa turned her mouth down slightly, "You know everything don't you?" she asked, she met Lexa's eyes and shook her head slowly, "Answer me!"

"Okay fine, I know everything." Lexa divulged.

“Why?”

"Because, on Friday night after they broke up, Clarke came over to my place," she explained. She opened her mouth to continue but was quickly cut off by Anya.

"Wait, they broke up on Friday?"

"Yeah."

"Then why'd they leave it so long to say anything?"

Lexa shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know, they were probably trying to get over the whole thing- anyway- she came over to my place and said that she needed someone to talk to, but she needed someone who wouldn't just keep saying 'I told you so' and I guess that in the end she picked me."

“But that literally makes no sense,” Anya shook her head slowly, “Why would she turn to you?” she asked, Lexa furrowed her eyebrows at the taller girl, “I don’t mean any offence to you by that, you know that I think you’re great and I’d go to you over something like this, but we’ve been best friends since we were kids. But out of all the people that Clarke knows and could have gone to for comfort, I always thought your name would be at the bottom of that list.”

“Honestly, so did I… she just said that she wanted to talk to someone who wouldn’t lecture her and she thought that Raven and Octavia would because they kept warning her about Finn. She knows that you’re not her biggest fan and the boys are just clueless so she wouldn’t pick you guys. I think that I was just a last resort for her… and now I guess that things have just changed and she sort of trusts me now.”

“Things don’t change that much, Lexa.” Anya replied, “Remember that.”

“It’s not like it’s a complete personality transplant, I mean, we’re friends... we have been for years now.”

“Oh please, you two barely even like each other, let's be real here Lexa."

“You know for a fact that that’s not entirely true. I have always liked Clarke. I’ve always thought she was funny, and nice, she infuriates me, I won’t lie, but I like her… we just don’t have anything in common… but we are friends. She’d never cared what people thought about her and Clarke’s friendship status, but after seeing Clarke in a vulnerable and fragile state, she couldn’t help but feel protective of her.

“But you never even talk to each other, and when you do you just wind each other up and then almost kill each other.” She shook her head, “Need I remind you about what happened in the summer, you literally raged at her, I thought you were gonna hit her.

“Okay. I maintain that she deserved it that day; she got us lost, in West Virginia, Anya!” Lexa stressed, “I was allowed to be pissed.” She sighed, calming herself down a little, the whole West Virginia situation still left her in a fit of rage.  “But when she turned up on my doorstep, crying her eyes out on Friday, I couldn’t push her away.” Lexa shrugged, “She needed my help, Anya, I had to give her it.”

"Well Miss Woods, you're clearly a better woman than I am, because if that girl had been knocking on my door on Friday, I'd have sent her packing."

"Oh come on, she was crying, you're telling me that if she turned up at your house, crying and sobbing you'd honestly send her home and wouldn't even ask her what was wrong?"

"Lexa, you;re my best friend and I'd even send you home if you showed up crying." She joked.

"You really are dead inside Anya... and I honestly worry about you." Lexa deadpanned.

 

* * *

 

With Lexa being gone, Clarke saw that she had no way of continuing to stall, she had come to the point where she had no other option other than to face the inevitable, she took a deep breath, stepped out of the car and started to make her way to the school. It felt weird to be back, the weekend seemed to have gone by far too quickly, as did the entire summer, it felt like she should still be at home wasting her days. That's what she really wanted to be doing, she wanted to be anywhere other than Arkadia High School.

Clarke rolled her eyes when she saw the throng of people loitering around her locker; she sighed and put on the best smile that she could muster that morning. She was well aware that by now word would have spread about herself and Finn and that within their little group it would definitely be a hot topic of discussion. She knew that Finn would have told at least one of them what had happened- she couldn't blame him; after all she had done the same thing herself. 

But on Sunday Finn and Clarke had made their break-up official in the eyes of everyone else. In the last hours of Sunday night, after she and Lexa had parted ways, Clarke had changed her relationship status from _in a relationship with Finn Collins_ to _Single_. As soon as that had happened she had been flooded with messages and her phone had been ringing none stop.

Raven and Octavia were borderline obsessive with trying to get a hold of her, but every attempt that they had made had been ignored by Clarke.

The only message that she had actually paid any attention to had been one that Lexa had sent it, and all it said was _you're going to be okay_.

Those five simple words had brought a smile to Clarke's face instantly. She didn't like pinning too much on the words of others- she'd been told empty promises in the past, but for some reason unbeknownst to herself she believed every word that Lexa was saying, and she had started to trust her with everything that she had in her. She knew that Lexa was going to do anything that she could to help her. She just hoped that Lexa wouldn't let her down.

She still didn't want to talk to anyone who wasn't Lexa.

But she didn't really have a choice anymore.

Clarke took a deep breath and walked towards the group of people, all of them watched her every move with wide, concerned eyes. "Hey you," Octavia said as Clarke neared, "Are you okay?" she asked. There was something about her tone of voice that morning, that sounded almost patronising and a little condescending, and if there was one thing that Clarke didn’t need, it was that.

"Yeah I'm fine," She replied with a half-hearted shrug, her voice had been barely a mumble, a stark contrast from how vocal she had been around Lexa. All of her friends exchanged a quick look that said not one of them believes her.

Raven took a deep breath before speaking, "Are you sure, I mean, if you're not feeling okay you can tell us. No one here is going to judge you for being sad right now. All of us just want to make sure that you're okay and that you're coping and moving on fro-"

"Look, I broke up with him okay. Trust me I'm coping with this."

"But why?" Octavia asked, "You were literally gushing about him on Friday before he came back, and then all of a sudden you dump him?" She shook her head slowly, "It just doesn't make sense. Why'd you do it?"

"What does it matter?" Clarke asked, "I ended it, that's all any of you need to know." she could feel her anger rising, "What happened is between me and Finn- all you guys need to know is that Finn and I were a couple and now we're not. So can you all please just drop it, I don't wanna talk about it." she all but yelled. She looked over her shoulder just in time to see the one person she wanted around.

"Hey everything okay over here?" Lexa asked, she could sense the tension in the air, and it only took one look at Clarke's tensed jaw to realise that the blonde was on the verge of blowing up.

"Yeah, everything's fine." Clarke all but spat, Lexa widened her eyes slightly before Clarke took a deep breath and shook her head, "I'm fine, okay? So can everyone please just let all of this go, just for today?" she asked.

"Clarke we're just trying to be there for you. Y'know, like a good set of friends," Octavia replied, "We're just trying to support you."

"But I broke up with him- why does no one get that?" Octavia opened her mouth to say something before the bell rang abruptly, cutting her off.

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Clarke we do get that, we're all just trying to be here for you. Look you might not want to talk about all of this right now, and I get that. I think we all do- but we're gonna be here for you if you change your mind."

“I’ll see you later. Clarke if you need to talk at any time just come find me okay?” Raven said.

Monty smiled and nodded his head slowly, “Yeah or me. We’re all here for you.”

Each of them smiled at Clarke before heading down the hallway in different directions. "Guess I'll see you later, Lex?" Anya asked, Lexa nodded her head and smiled softly as Anya headed the same way Raven had, making her way towards the chemistry lab.

Clarke let out a deep breath and turned to face Lexa. "See that's annoying- ever since last night all of them have just been prying and trying to know everything about what happened and it sucks." she complained.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't here sooner to stop them." Lexa shrugged

"It's fine." Clarke sighed, "You've already done enough for me. In fact you've done more than enough."

“Clarke, I promise you that eventually they will all get very bored of this. This is just new to all of them, they just want to know what happened. Think about it, if Lincoln and Octavia broke up you'd be acting the same way, right?" Clarke nodded her head slowly, "Well there you go then, it's all just some novilty thing for them. In a couple of day it'll all have died down. I mean, no offence, but this whole situation isn't exactly the most interesting." she said sardonically.

"Y'know something, I'm starting to miss the Lexa that I had at the weekend, where'd she go?" she deadpanned.

"That was just a free trial, you've gotta pay a monthly subscription for me to be that nice to you all the time." she joked.

Clarke smiled and shook her head slowly, “You’re a really good friend do you know that?” she asked.

Lexa shrugged her shoulders slightly, “I try,” She replied with a small smile. “But I have to get to class now… I’ll see you at lunch?” she asked. Clarke nodded her head slowly before they went off in their separate directions.

As she rounded the corner, to make her way into her History classroom, she bumped into the one person she had been hoping she would be able to avoid that day. She looked up at him and rolled her eyes. “What are you doing here Finn?” she asked, “Aren’t you supposed to have English right now?”

"Well, yeah, but I really needed to talk to you. Are you honestly gonna deny me a conversation now?" He asked, smirking at her in the same cheeky way that had always won her over. "Come one, just give me one last chance to explain myself. Just give us one last chance, please?"

"What do you want to explain Finn?" she asked, "Why you cheated on me? Well no thank you. I don't want to hear the story about what happened, and I definitely don't wanna hear your bullshit excuses. I am done  with this Finn, and  really mean that. I am done with everything. I am done with this situation, and with this relationship. I will still talk to you and I will be civil- but I am literally only doing that for the sake of a friendship- but I don't wanna talk about _us_."

"So what?" he shrugged, "Are you saying that we're just friends now?"

Clarke shook her head slowly, "No. I'm saying that we have all the same friends, and that for the sake of them we need to be civil with each other. I'm not ready to be anything more than tolerant with you."

"So that's it then, you're just gonna have nothing to do with me?"

"I don't know." Clarke shrugged, "I know that right now that's what I want. But I can't say that I'll never want to be friends- all I'll say is maybe one day." she gave him a half-hearted smile and sighed, "I'll see you around Finn." she said before walking away from the boy, fighting against the tears that so desperately wanted to stream down her face

 

* * *

 

The first half of the day had been overly eventful for Lexa's liking; Clarke and Finn's break-up had been the talk of their school, it seemed that they had been something of an 'it couple' within their senior class, not that Lexa had ever paid any attention to the status quo of her school. Everyone around her seemed to be obsessing over what had happened, why it had happened, when it had happened- of course, she knew that the latter topic was mainly because all the girls wanted to know if Finn was ready to date again and the boys just wanted to know if Clarke was in need of a rebound.

She'd admit it, she felt quite privileged to be the only person who knew the full story about what had happened on Friday night, she felt honored that Clarke had trusted her with something like this when she wouldn't trust Raven and Octavia.

Lexa turned her mouth down when she walked into her algebra class and Finn sitting at the back of the room, she knew that it'd be wronf to avoid and ignore him, she knew that even though he had definitely been in the wrong, he probably needed someone to talk to just as much as Clarke did. She took a deep breath and headed to the back of the room.

"Hey, is this seat taken?" Lexa asked, nodding in the direction of the empty desk just to the side of his own, Finn sighed and shrugged his shoulders slightly.

"No, go for it," he replied, shooting a smile in Lexa's direction.

"How're you feeling?"

Finn rolled his eyes slightly, "Do you actually care, or are you just fishing for information?" He snarked, "Because honestly I'm not in the mood to talk to people who don't give a shit."

"Yes I care," Lexa admitted, "I'm asking because we're friends, and even though we're not like, best pals or anything, I do happen to like you." Lexa sighed, "Why does everyone think this way about me?"

Finn sighed, "I'm sorry. I just assumed you'd be the same as everyone else. Seriously, everyone just keeps asking me all the ins and outs of what happened. And I keep telling them that she broke my heart, but no one seems to want to drop it there."

"Wait, did you just say that she broke your heart?" Lexa asked giving him a dry, humorless laugh, she shook her head slowly, "I honestly don't know how you can sit there and say that after what you did to her."

"Wait, she told you?"

Lexa nodded, "Yes Finn she told me."

"Well that's just awesome," he replied sarcastically, "So I'm guessing you've taken her side?" he spat.

"I don't exactly think there are any sides here, you cheated on her."

"Yeah and I feel really shitty about that. I'm the one who has to walk around with this heavy feeling in my stomach. I'm the one who's walking around feeling guilty as hell. Do you think that any of this is easy for me?"

"If you're feeling shitty and guilty then that's no one's fault but your own." Lexa shook her head, "You slept wth another girl while you had a girlfriend and now you want to play the victim?"

“She broke up with me.” Finn mumbled.

"Yeah she did and I am sorry that she did and I am sorry that it's hurting you. I don't like seeing either of you feeling this way- I don't wanna see any of my friends feeling this way. But you did cheat on her, Finn—she’s hurting a hell of a lot more than you are right now.” Lexa shrugged her shoulders, “Look I’m not going to judge you, I don’t… and I’m not mad at you. But can you please stop trying to play the victim. I would have so much more respect for you if you just faced what you did. You can’t just say sorry and hope that it’s gonna work… it won’t… sack up Finn.”

 

* * *

It felt like the longest day ever to Clarke, of course, she knew why—school was the last place she wanted to be right now. What she wanted was more time away from education and more time away from Finn. What she really wanted was more time with just Lexa. It didn't help that Lexa mainly had AP classes while Clarke didn't and that the only time she had seen the taller girl had been in the morning and then again at lunch.

 _Stupid Lexa being so smart, she just had to be in all the AP classes_ Clarke thought, scowling slightly, _Stupid AP classes ruining everything_. She continued down the halls of the school, she couldn’t stop the smile on her face when she saw Lexa standing by her locker, she came to a stop beside the taller girl “Are you doing anything tonight?” she asked, watching as Lexa packed away her books.

"Unfortunately tonight I am working," she replied shutting her locker and hoisting her bag up onto her shoulder, she saw Clarke's smile drop slightly, "Why are you asking?" she tilted her head to the side slightly, reminding Clarke of a confused puppy, Clarke was struck by the sudden thought of how cute she looked when she did that, the thought had definitely caught her off guard. Never before had she thought Lexa woods looked cute- she knew the other girl was attractive, she had always thought that- but never cute.

She shook the thought from her head before saying, "No reason really, I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out again, I haven't really seen you much today, and when I did see you everything was so awkward because no one really knew how to speak to me- but if you're working tonight then don't worry about it. It doesn't mater, I'll find something else to do."

"I know it was awkward and I'm really sorry, I have to start in like the next hour, I literally only just have time to get Aden home and to get changed and then I'm at work, otherwse I would totally hang out with you tonight. I'd rather be hanging out with you than waiting on tables, trust me."

"You could always come over after work?"

Lexa shook her head slowly, "I can't during my last shift I was asked if I'd take on some extra hours, I'm covering for one of the girls, she's out sick. I'm honestly really sorry about all of this."

“Ahh don’t worry about it,” Clarke shrugged again, “There’s nothing stopping me swinging by the diner a littler later and visiting you while you work, right?”

Lexa shook her head and smiled, "Nope nothing at all, I definitely wouldn't mind you coming, although if you are going to do that you might want to do it a little later, like about nine-thirty ish? Because it's usually pretty dead at that time so I'll actually have chance to talk to you."

"Awesome I'll swing by then, of course, I will have to find something to do in the mean time, looks like I'll just be watching trash TV with Marcus- seriously, you'd think he'd moved in with how much he's at my place. I really don't wanna be trapped with him all night again. That's not the kind of life I want to lead, it might be okay for my mom, but it's not for me."

"Sounds like a plan, although, I really didn't think that you'd be so desperate to hang out with me that you'd come to the diner."

"Hey I am not desperate," Clarke said good-naturedly, she pointed her finger at the dark haired girl, "You just happen to be the only semblance of sanity that I have right now. Everyone else is just prying and no matter how many times I tell them to keep out of it they just keep going. That or they're constantly checking up on me. Seriously, they're all acting as if I'm made of glass."

"Well then, I can see why you'd want to spend time with me."

 

* * *

 

"I can't take it anymore, I am already sick and tired of being handled with these kid gloves, y'know?" Clarke complained; Lexa nodded her head slowly never looking up from her task of cleaning a table. “It’s like, yeah, I broke up with Finn and that hurts, but there are bigger travesties in the world, right?” she asked, “I mean, I went through far worse than this when I was only sixteen. I dealt with that.”

She looked up to meet Clarke’s blue eyes and nodded her head slowly. “Yeah, I know you did.” She replied—she remembered the day that all of them had been told of Jake Griffin passing away, she might not have always been close to Clarke, but whenever she was at the other girl’s house when they were younger, Jake had always made her feel welcome, and hearing of his death had caused them all pain.

Lexa remembered the look in Clarke’s eyes for weeks after her dad had died, she still saw it sometimes, when it got close to father’s day, his birthday, and of course, the anniversary of his death.

"Then why is everyone acting like this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me, seriously, Raven and Octavia will not let this go, they just keep texting and if I don't reply within like five minutes, they text again. I am this close to blocking their numbers until this whole thing passes over. I don't want to talk to them about it, why don't they understand that?"

"They're just trying to help you, Clarke," Lexa explained, "All of this is pretty new to them still, they found out last night and since then they haven't really been told anything other than you ended it, and they haven't seen Finn to ask him- he's been avoiding everyone like the plague. Honestly they might be annoying you, but in they're own little way they just have your best interests at heart. We all do. That's why I've been helping you."

"Yeah but you didn't act like this. Me telling them I ended it isn;t good enough for them, they all just wanna know why. Like it matters, why can't they just drop it. You didn't ask any questions."

"Because I didn't feel the need to. You came to me and just sort of told me everything anyway." Lexa explained shrugging slightly, "Once you'd told me what happened I wanted to leave all the talking to you. I knew that if you wanted to talk about it then you would- because you already had- I knew that all I had to do was sit around and wait for you to be willing to tell me more. I wasn't gonna pry."

“But everyone else is prying, that’s what I’m trying to say.” She rolled her eyes, “I appreciate everything that they’re all trying to do for me. Obviously I am so grateful to have such amazing friends, but I don’t need it.”

“And what do you need?”

“I honestly don’t know.” Clarke shrugged.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the week seemed to pass by in a blur and all her days seemed to merge into one, it had been incredibly uneventful, but it had passed by none the less. Clarke of course had been doing her best to remain civil with Finn as she had promised, though it was very rare she would bump into him- of course this was because Clarke had also been doing her best to avoid him. She knew that her behavior was childish, but there were some days that she really didn't want to be around him.

Some days it hurt her too much to even look at him as the thoughts of him being with another girl would fill her mind, she started to realise that for the most part she was over being sad about him cheating on her and that she had now entered the anger stage, she was still heartbroken of course, only now it was heavily mixed with the strongest feeling of anger Clarke had ever felt.

While Clarke was avoiding him at all costs, all Finn wanted to was talk to her, he would constantly ask other members of their friendship group if they had seen her, he was always unsuccessful with his hunt to find the blonde haired girl. By the time Thursday arrived Clarke had started to feel slightly guilty, she realised that while she had been avoiding Finn she had also been inadvertently segregating Lexa from their friends too.

By the time Thursday arrived she was so sick of running, and segregating herself (as well as Lexa,) from the group that she relented and decided that if she were to see him, she wouldn’t run anymore. They were both adult enough to carry on as if nothing had ever happened, or at least she hoped they were.

on Thursday Octavia took it upon herself to arrange a girl's night after school- she'd had to pick Thursday, with Lexa and Anya working it was the only night of the week that all five of them were free. Once the final bell of school had rang, Clarke, Raven, Anya and Lexa all made their way to Octavia's house. Octavia had said that in light of recent events they were all in need of some ‘girl time.’ Of course, with Bellamy roaming around the Blake household it wasn’t entirely a girl’s night.

Bellamy loved gossip just as much as his twin did, he just couldn't stop himself from eavesdropping on their conversations all through the night- he had mainly been hoping that since it was just the girls that were around that Clarke would spill more information about what really happened between her and Finn, that and ever since the beginning of summer he had been trying desperately to gain Raven's affections- it had all started after they had played a game of spin the bottle and he and Raven had to kiss each other.

He claimed that he felt something in that kiss that ran deeper than friendship no matter how much Raven denied it.

The girls lay sprawled out in Octavia's room; Octavia, Raven and Clarke occupied the bed, while Anya and Lexa lay on the floor. Empty candy wrappers scattered the areas around the five girls. They'd successfully eaten their entire body weights in junk food and had spent more than any of them cared to imagine on soda, take out food and candy. Lexa could already feel herself regretting taking in so much fat and sugar.

"So, cheerleading tryouts tomorrow, you ready, Lex?" Octavia asked. 

Lexa rolled her eyes and sighed, she made a disgusted sound at the back of her throat and suddenly felt even guilty about her fat intake than she had before. "Please don't remind me of that hell." She replied, her voice containing little emotion. "I am so not ready to have to get back into it. I really don't want to." she admitted.

Octavia pushed herself up from where she was laying "Oh come on, Lex, you've got the be a little more enthusiastic than that. Everyone knows that you're gonna be captain of the squad this yer." Lexa shrugged her shoulder's half-heartedly. "How are not even remotely excited about all of this. I'd have thought you'd love that. You'd get to boss people around." she added jokingly.

"I do want to be captain of the squad, obviously I want that, I just don't want to get my hopes up, what if I don't get it?" she asked, "Plus, the thought of getting back into that uniform again is real off-putting. I don't find them comfortable at all."

"Lexa do you actually like cheerleading?" Anya asked, "All you ever seem to do is complain about it all the time- seriously, I've had to put up with this bullshit since freshmen year. It's starting to get a little old."

"Yes I like it," she shook her head slowly, "Honestly it is just those uniforms, if I could ware anything else I wouldn't complain half as much- and the worst part is that tomorrow I have to wear it all day because it's try-outs and we have to show school spirit." she rolled her eyes.

"If you hate wearing it that much then why don't you just quit?" Raven asked.

"Because; cheerleading is gonna look great on any of my college applications and if I happen to make captain tomorrow then that'll  make it even better, it's the type of thing that could see me cementing a scholarship. I really want to go to college and if I can get in on a scholarship then it's even better. Plus it's a great way to keep fit. We get access to the gym and the the tracks. So I have to put up with the horrible uniform to get all the benefits. You win some and then you lose some." she shrugged, "You just have to roll with it."

"You use 'you just gotta roll with it' far too freely for my liking," Raven sighed, "Honestly that seems to be your advice for everything, lost your phone? 'just gotta roll with it' got locked out of your house? 'You just gotta roll with it.' caught an st-"

"I get it Rea," Lexa cut her off, "But I only say it because a lot of the time it's true. You do just have to learn how to roll with it. If something can't be changed then what's the point in worrying about it?" she asked. "Honestly guys, sometimes you do just have to sit back and let things happen. If it's meant to be then it will be, if not then it won't. All I know is everything happens for a reason."

Clarke sighed and nodded her head, "I agree completely," she smiled, "No matter how bad or good something might be you can't change any of it. There's not really any point in dwelling or moping, right?" she asked, Lexa nodded her head slowly. Clarke started to think about how she had been acting towards Finn and how it wasn't going to change anything that happened. Avoiding him wouldn't suddenly turn the clock back and make him not cheat on her. What's done can;t be undone, and she knew that.

 

* * *

 

Next morning had been a mad rush for the five girls to get ready on time, Lexa had never had to move so fast in her life, usually she just had to work around Aden, and he never needed much time to get ready, but trying to compete with four other girls to hace access to the shower and bathroom first was carnage. Of course, she was refusing to wear her uniform until the absolutely had to. Unlike Octavia who had happily put hers on that morning once she had showered. 

Anya had caused a mini argument with Lexa about how she could save herself time and energy if she just sucked it up and left the house wearing it, but Lexa being her usual stubborn self had flat out refused. In the end Anya had given up, seeing that there was no way she could win this disagreement with the other girl.

Lexa only changed into her uniform once she was actually at school and had ten minutes to spare before the bell rang, she walked out of the girl's rest room feeling uncomfortable almost instantly. She had never minded wearing skirts, or dresses, what she hated most about the uniform was how itchy the material made her feel, that and the mandatory forest green and white colouring- she even hated how she had to have her hair scraped back into a high pony whenever she wore it.

"Would you just look at you," Clarke said as Lexa walked towards her, "Damn girl, you busy tonight, can I get yo number?" she asked, though she might have been making jokes- and mainly because she knew how much Lexa hated this- she wouldn't lie, she had always thought that the uniform looked incredible on Lexa. It dawned on Clarke that this was the first time she had acknowledged in her own mind just how good Lexa looked in the cheerleading uniform.

Lexa's voice pulled her away from her thoughts, "I will punch you right in your neck, Griffin, do not test me." she joked as a wide smile spread across her face.

"Well haven't you just been a bundle of happiness and joy this morning," Clarke chuckled, "I think that you need to calm down a little bit, there is no need for the violence Lexa." Clarke teased. Lexa rolled her eyes and shook her head slowly. "Are you okay?" Clarke asked.

"Yeah," Lexa replied, "And I'm sorry about my attitude, I just hate this, so can you please not make jokes?" she asked, "I just hate this whole outfit- I love cheerleading and the fact that I get to compete and hangout with some fun people, but  just wish I could wear something else. I mean, green, really?"

"You look good," Clarke smiled, Lexa rolled her eyes and sighed, "No I'm serious this time, that green really brings out your eyes." she commented, she widened her eyes slightly at her own words. Since when had she paid enough attention to Lexa's eyes to know what made them stand out? She didn't like the thoughts that kept occupying her mind whenever Lexa was around, She took a deep breath and looked down at her hands, hoping to clear her head.

"Thanks," Lexa smiled, "And hey, if the green 'really brings out my eyes' then I guess it's not all bad is it?" she asked teasingly smirking at the blonde haired girl.

Clarke rolled her eyes and was about to make a witty retort when a stern voice cut her off. "Woods!" Lexa snapped her head around to the sound of Coach Sparrow's voice. "I'd like a word with you please?" the way she spoke removed any room for argument, and it was definitely more a command than a request. Indra Sparrow was not a woman to be messed with, and anyone who did shortly regretted it.

Lexa looked between her coach and the blonde haired girl before nodding her head slowly, worry suddenly consuming her entire body. "Y-yeah. Sure." she said before following the older woman down the hall. Lexa had always liked Indra, she liked how she trained her cheerleaders with a harsh, yet fair manner, it made all of them work that much harder to strive for greatness.

But there was one thing that the whole squad agreed on, and that was Indra's demeanor, they never knew if she was in a good mood or a bad  mood, it had always been so hard to tell. Whenever she said their name and asked them for a word, fear would strike all of them as they never knew if she wanted to talk to them about something good, or something bad. Lexa walked into Indra’s office and sat down slowly, before she could even open her mouth to ask why she was there Indra spoke, "As you know cheerleading try-outs start again today." she began, "and I would really like it, if as captain of the squad, you would help me pick the best of the bunch?"

"Wait, you're making me captain?" Lexa asked, her breath catching in her throat slightly, Coach Sparrow nodded her head slowly, a small smile spreading across her face. "Really?"

"Really." she replied, "In all honesty I have wanted to make you the head cheerleader for the past couple of years now, but obviously when you were a sophomore and a junior you being cpatain wouldn't have gone down very well with the senior members of the squad." she explained, "However, this year you're a senior yourself." she smiled, "So are you in or out, because if you're out then I can always find someone el-"

"No. I'd love that." Lexa cut her off abruptyl. "I would love to be captain and I would love to sit with you today during try-outs." she admitted. "I do have one question though, why me?"

"Because. I know you, you're the only person on this squad who can help me get all of these girls performance ready. You have never let me down once. You're a natural born leader Alexandria. I think that you have just the right attitude- you'll be harsh enough to make sure that things get done and to make sure that they get done properly, but you'll also be fair enough with them to keep their respect and to keep morale high." she smiled, "Can I count on you to do that?"

Lexa nodded her head, smiling from ear to ear. "Definitely." she replied, "I promise you that I won't let you down."

 

* * *

 

"See, I told you that you'd make captain," Octavia smiled, "Are you happy now? You can finally put it on all those applications you were talking about and go for that scholarship that you wanted." they continued to make they're way down to the gymnasium to attend try-outs. Lexa might have been safe in the knowledge that she was on the squad, but once again Octavia had to try out. After all, like Indra said, just because she was one of the best last year, doesn't mean she still will be.

Lexa rolled her eyes slightly, she hadn't told any of the others that if she didn't get a scholarship it was highly unlikely that she and her mother would be able to scrape the cash together for her to go to college at all. The only people who knew that were Anya and Lincoln. That was part of the reason that she had always tried so hard in all of her classes, making sure she got the best grades possible. If she could get an athletic scholarship, she'd sure as hell get an academic one. Having both good grades and being captain of a team just made her look all the better.

"It'll definitely help me out," Lexa smiled,  "It doesn't hurt to have a plethora of options." she smiled pointed out, "I guess in a way I feel bad, because it could have gone to someone who really wanted it, y'know like you or like Niylah, but I am happy that I got it."

"And i am happy for you." Octavia replied, "Yes I wanted it, but you deserve it. It's not always about wanting it. You're a born leader Lexa, you're so amazing as well. You're the most athletic girl on the squad, plus you're one hell of a dancer. You just have what it takes to lead us all to victory. You can choreograph, you can dance, you can literally do everything. Honestly this job should have been yours a long time ago. Coach Sparrow just didn't think that would be fair."

"How do you know that?"

"Oh I overheard her talking to Pike one day," she admitted with a shrug, "me and lincoln were making out under the bleachers one day and we heard them talking about an up coming game that we were gonna cheer at and he mentioned something about you not being captain but coach explained to him why you weren't. He said that age shouldn't matter and that to him it didn't that he had made Lincoln captain as a junior because he knew it's what made sense. But she said that she wanna have someone younger trying to captain the seniors.”

"Well I still think it should have gone to someone else. Y'know. Some one who actually has a passion for this type of stuff. Unlike me."

"So what? You're just gonna half-ass it this year?'

"No. Of course I'm not gonna do that." Lexa replied, "I am gonna do this to the best of my abilities, I'm a very all or nothing person and you know that. When have I ever half-assed anything?" she asked. Octavia shrugged, "Exactly I haven't. I just thought that maybe it would have been given to someone else." she admitted as she pushed the door to the gymnasium open, allowing Octavia to enter first. 

 

* * *

 

After a successful try-outs session, where Octavia once again made the squad, Lexa met Clarke at her place just as they had arranged earlier in the day. Once again Clarke's mom was working the night and Marcus had gone to his weekly poker night with the boys, leaving Clarke and Lexa alone in the house. "Do you ever get the urge to do something completely on an impulse?" Clarke asked, "Like I don't know, get a peircing or do something new and different with your hair, y'know not just a trim, but like something big?"

"Yeah, I did once and it was the biggest mistake of my life." Lexa admitted, "There's a reason I wear my hair down and hate having it up- you've seen the tattoo on my neck, right?"

Clarke nodded, "Yeah I never understood that, what is it?"

"It's a broken infinity symbol, because nothing is permanent and nothing lasts forever. I was stupid, I had access to a fake ID and I got it done. I regret it sometimes, but for the most part it is what it is. And it won't stop me getting more in the future. Only next time I'll think about it a lot more before I just go and get it done." 

"I find it kind of ironic how you got a permanent tattoo of a broken infinity symbol to signify that you don't believe anything can last forever, like seriously Lexa, I would expect more from someone as smart as you are." Clarke said shaking her head slightly.

"Well technically I am still right and do still believe that. I could always have this thing removed with lazers or I could even have it covered up. There's nothing stopping me getting rid of it. There for, it does not last forever." she smiled smugly. "Why do you ask anyway, you thinking of getting something like it?"

Clarke shook her head, "No. Well not a tattoo at least, I don't want to do something huge. Maybe just a change of my hair. Like dying it a new colour." she shrugged. "It's like what people say, once a girl changes her hair there is no chance of her getting back with her ex and I want to prove that. New hair, new me, new man." she smiled.

Lexa rolled her eyes, “You know that’s not necessarily true,” she replied with a small smile, “Changing your hair colour doesn’t actually prove or change anything.”

“Erm, excuse me Alexandria, who died and made you the break-up God?” Clarke asked smiling, “I’m just saying that I want a change… I’m bored of being, this,” she admitted motioning to herself. “I’m sick of being that push over that let him get away with everything for far too long.”

“You think dying your hair will change that?” Lexa asked.

"Well I don't think that it'll change who I am, but it will definitely give me a fresh start away from him. Plus it's just something new to try. Why stick to the same thing all the time. Let's be spontaneous."

"And I'm guessing you want some help with being spontaneous?"Lexa asked.

"Yes." she sighed "So what do you say, Lexa, you in?”

She smiled and nodded her head slowly, “Yeah. Sure. Why the hell not?” she shrugged. “It’s not like I have anything better to do right.”

"That's the spirit."

"I have to be honest though, depending on what you have in mind, I might try and stop you. I won't be totally laid back about this if I think you're about to ruin your life. I will advise you not to do it."

"You can try but I definitely won't listen to you."

“Trust me. I know… when do you wanna do this?" 

"Tonight. I sort of already bought the boxed dye while you were at try-outs." Clarke admitted with a small smile.

"Okay. So what colour did you have in mind?”

 

* * *

 

"Pink? Like seriously? You honestly want to dye your hair pink?"

"Not fully. Maybe just the ends, just to spruce them up a little bit. You don't think this is a good idea. Do you?"

"Hey. I never said that it wouldn't look good on you. I am sure that blonde and pink look great together. But I am saying think about what you're doing. This could all go very very wrong. I am no professional."

"It's not gonna go wrong, stop being so pessimistic all the time, woman, I am well aware that you're not a profession. All I am asking you to do is put some dye on the ends of my hair."

“Call it pessimism all you want, but I like to think of myself as a realist, and realistically, this could still go wrong.”

“Would you just shut up and do it?”

Lexa took a deep breath and nodded her head, she smiled at Clarke’s reflection in the bathroom mirror just in front of them. “Do you trust me?” she asked, with her signature smirk in place.

“Yes… now please just do it before I change my mind?”

And with that, Lexa put the first bit of dye on Clarke’s hair.

 

* * *

 

"I can't look, like, seriously, I can't do this."

Lexa rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh, "Would you just look?"

Clarke shook her head slowly. "Nope." she replied, "I can't. I darent, does it look really bad?" she asked. Before Lexa even had chance to open her mouth and reply to the other girl Clarke spoke once again. "Oh god it's really bad isn't it? Like it's really bad. You're gonna have to go to the store and get me some bleach so I can fix this." she rambled all the while her eyes remained closed.

“Now who is being a pessimist?” Lexa teased, Clarke glared at her, “You look fine, okay? Do you think that if you looked anything less than okay, I’d be sat here as calm as I am?” she asked, “I’d be bolting out of the door to prevent your mother from shooting me.”

“Okay.” Clarke took a deep breath and turned around to look into the mirror. A small smile spread across her face as she took in her new look. She looked over her shoulder, her smile only growing when she saw Lexa, “I like it. You did a really good job. Thank you.”

Lexa shrugged, “Any time.” She replied, she pulled the gloves off of her hands and dropped them into the trash.

“I mean, it’ll look better when it’s styled and I have my make-up on, but I like it.”

“Good I’m glad.” Lexa smiled, “And can I please, just be the first to say that you are totally winning this break-up.”

Clarke nodded her head in agreement, “Yes. I am… and I am just getting started.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kind words that have been left so far, and for all the kudos and subscriptions and bookmarks. You are all making my little gay heart very happy. 
> 
> I have had so much writers block with this chapter that it has been unreal and so many segments of it have been written over and over again, until finally, I was happy enough to get it uploaded. 
> 
> Also, while writing this third chapter a lot of stuff happened in my life that was pretty big. I was in my third and final year of university when I started this chapter and the workload became crazy as I had documentaries to make as well as making promotional videos and trying to get all my essays written including my final year thesis- in which I wrote about the representation and treatment of lesbian and bisexual women in media texts, basically I wanted an excuse to rant about the bury your gays trope and the injustice we face with how many wlw characters are killed on TV shows. 
> 
> Plus I got a puppy and had to train her and leanr how to be the best doggy mummy I could be and I met my now girlfriend and have just been spending so much time with her and I started a new job. Seriously so far 2017 has been crazy for me. But I have loved every minute of it so far. But I digress. 
> 
> Once again thank you for the lovely words and everything else. 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter.


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